I feel at a crossroads, married 6 years, 2 DCs 4.5 yo DD and 13 mo DS. Lots to be grateful for in our lives but our marriage just feels rocky, tenuous, volatile, unsettled. Don't know that I can do this for the long term.
The breaking straw for me is that DH is insisting I return to work, even though we agreed before having DS (actually DH's idea) that I would stay home until DS started school. Financially, we don't need me to work (no mortgage, he makes OK money) but we won't be saving or going on nice holidays on just one wage. I think these are very small sacrifices to make to have one of us stay home while the DCs are so little; DH disagrees, wants the security and freedom of 2 incomes (we make similar money; he doesn't want to stay home, I've suggested it). I know that when I return to work, I will (as when I went back after DD) still end up doing the bulk of house keeping, cooking and admin. Feel that I'll just end up with two full time jobs, and tbh don't think I will have any quality of life.
If I stay, my life is going to be shit. If I end the marriage and go back to work I will only see my kids half of the limited time I would see them outside work anyway, so my life will be shit. If I end the marriage and go on benefits, I'll see lots of my kids but quite frankly, think life would be a pretty shit then too, although it would give me the opportunity to return to study and financially it would work.
WWYD? Apart from not marry someone who has very differing ideas about the value of a stay at home parent for young kids in the first place.
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Relationships
WWYD - get a job or go on benefits?
freshstart4us · 17/07/2016 02:26
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