Hi everyone. This is my first time posting and I'm really sorry if it's long :( Basically I'm 36 weeks pregnant and my partner left me (again) last week. I'm 40 years old and my partner is 45 and we also have a 5 year old son. I also have 2 older children from a previous partner and he is fine. My current partner is not fine and neither am I due to 7 years of abuse. I know I should have left this man years ago but I was so in love with him and I feel brainwashed and weak. I used to be such a strong woman but it's like I'm a weak woman now that allows this man to abuse me, calls me cunt, weirdo, ugly, freak, refuses to give me money ( I don't work), lies to me constantly, he's been very violent to me in the past. That's stopped but he did fracture my ribs and nose few years ago. Punched me etc. he apologised for this but the pain is still there. Since he's stopped being violent, the mental abuse has got so bad :(, I don't even recognise myself now and it's got worse the last few months of this pregnancy. He said he hoped I die in childbirth, pushed me last week, threatens to take me to court over access to kids now we have split up as he says he's wealthy and can wipe the floor with me. I live in rented accommodation which fortunately is in my name, but he refuses to have any joint accounts with me, will not give details to CSA and says he will never marry me. We've been together 7 years and will have 2 children but he won't give me any proper commitment. Not that I want it now. My baby is lying in dangerous position and he stresses me out to the point where my bump goes rock hard and I get upset and he calls me attention seeking whore and pathetic. He's stopped touching my bump and last time I saw him ( last weds), he sat at table saying it was me that was abusive???!! And I was in tears and he was recording me on his phone. He gets aggressive when I ask him about his lies as if it's my fault. He says I don't trust him but of course I don't as he's lied to me for 7 years. He says the most awful things about me to people who have never met me to make him look like a victim. They have no idea what he's put me through. I've not had any contact with him since he left last Thursday. I don't want anything to do with him. Is it wrong for me to cut him out of our lives as he's so evil at times. He said he doesn't want to be at birth and I can raise baby on my own. I feel like he's destroyed me :( I'm trying so hard to stay strong but it's like I'm brainwashed. He also shoved me and banged my bump last week and then stood over me when I was in tears calling me pathetic psycho. It was awful. Any advice would be great please. X
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What usually happens that makes you break the 'no contact' - does he contact you, or do you wobble and contact him?
If you're determined to stay NC this time, it would be a good idea to think about how you're going to deal with the wobbles, or if he contacts you, or decides he does want to be involved with new baby when he realises you're not dancing to his tune anymore.
Have a plan, and you're more likely to succeed. 
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