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Brother seems to have vanished off the earth

(5 Posts)
Mycatsabastard Sat 16-Jul-16 19:51:52

This may be long winded and quite complicated so apologies in advance.

My BM had a baby out of wedlock in 1966 (I think). He was mixed race and she kept him for 9 months. After that social services removed him and put him into foster care. I know his birth name but have no idea whether it was changed.

My BM then met and married a Spanish man and got pregnant with her second child, a girl. However, she had an affair and her husband threw her out. She went to a mother and baby home and the man she was having an affair with made her choose - him or the baby. She chose him and at a month old, that baby was fostered and eventually adopted at six months.

BM then had another baby (me) with her lover and once the divorce came through married him. She went on to have another child, a girl, five years later.

When the youngest was 2, BM was murdered by her husband who took his own life. Myself and my younger sister were then split up and adopted separately although within the wider family.

Although my sister and I knew about the other two siblings, we had no idea where to start even trying to find them and basically didn't bother. We got on with having our children and living our lives.

Five years ago I received a message from a woman on facebook saying that she had been trying to trace the parents of a woman but had found me instead. My half-sister. We were put in touch, called each other, met and five years on are good friends.

However, half-sister has now found her birth records. All of use, except the youngest, were born in the same hospital. Half sister knows that our brother was removed by the same SS team for fostering that had her fostered. But there are no records of him anywhere. Nothing at social services. No adoption records. No death certificate (although if his name was changed then it would be difficult to find that). It's like he's vanished.

One of the things my half sister found out through her birth records was that our BM spent two months in prison for stealing some sort of credit card and using it to make a long distance phone call to America. We have no relatives in America. Apparently it was to speak to a friend. This was after Robbie's birth and before half sisters birth. We are now wondering if he was taken abroad.

How on earth do we find him? It's like the final piece of the jigsaw still missing. Does anyone have any links of place which may help? We have tried various adoption and missing people type websites but have had no luck at all.

If anyone could help I'd really appreciate it.

MyLlamasGoneBananas Sat 16-Jul-16 19:59:23

I have absolutely no experience of this to offer any advice although I do watch Long Losteoporosis Family on TV and they have a good success rate of tracing people including those that have had hit a brick wall in the past.
The only downside is that you'd need to be prepared to go public and it be televised - or at least a certain amount of it.

Trooperslane Sat 16-Jul-16 20:02:58

Can't help but wowsers and I hope you get a hand here.

GruffaloPants Sat 16-Jul-16 20:05:43

Have you tried the Salvation Army? I've heard very good things about their tracing service. Good luck.

Mycatsabastard Sat 16-Jul-16 21:48:14

Thank you all for replying. I shall look into the Salvation Army, we've not tried them yet. It's been a difficult process trying to piece everything together so far (and I've left out an awful lot of my BMs background). But my half sister traced her bio dad and found out a lot from him and one of BMs sisters remembers the baby boy being at the house and then one day he was just gone when she got home from school.

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