DH pawned his bike

[chalky3]

I went into our garage a couple of days ago to put something away and noticed that DH's fancy, expensive bike wasn't there. It quickly dawned on me that he had most likely sold it as he is always claiming he has no money. I asked him about it (calmly) later on; he had pawned it, I was furious!
I explained how angry and disappointed I was at this and asked what he 'needed' the money for (bills are paid, food on the table, petrol in the cars, etc.) He basically used it to go to the pub because he had run out of cash

He insists he will 'buy' the bike back before the time runs out to do so, but I know he'll struggle to keep enough money back. However I have the money to get it back now, but I don't want to give it to him because 1. It's his doing and 2. He will never pay me back (I know from bitter experience).

I really want him to get it back partly because I bought it for him, but mainly because DS loves going out on his bike and has only just started doing so with us rather than in the child seat on my bike. It makes DS feel 'grown up' to go out on the bikes with his Daddy, and they both enjoy it.

So (please) putting aside the many other issues that are apparent from this post, should I 'buy' the bike back for ds' sake, or wait to see if he does? And what should I do next if I decide to wait and he doesn't get it back?

[ChicRock]

Ok, so you buy it back, and he pawns it again when he fancies another session in the pub.

What then?

[chalky3]

Thanks for your responses. This is what I've been thinking but it galls me to let him do this when I could do something. He's bad terrible with money but I've never known him to pawn his belongings before.

The reason I don't want to go into detail about the other issues is because it would prompt cries of LTB and I'm not ready to deal with that possibility yet

[museumum]

Buy him a shit halfords or decathlon bike for his Xmas so he can still go out with ds.

[KinkyAfro]

Don't buy it back, let him, then take it off him and sell it keeping the money for yourself

[chalky3]

Lol kinky, I like that idea, he doesn't seem to want it anyway! And museum that would solve the issue of going out with DS.

If I don't help him and he doesn't get the bike back, what should I do next? I'd be so disappointed and still mad at him for it. Will he think he got away with that and pawn something else?

[Cagliostro]

No don't buy it back

[tribpot]

So you bought it for him once and now you're wondering if you should buy it for him again? Do you think it's coincidental that he pawned something you paid for, rather than something he bought for himself?

[RosieandJim89]

I would buy it back and then make him buy it off you when he had saved enough

[P1nkP0ppy]

Get it out of hock then sell it and recoup your money.
if a pub visit is more important than cycling with his DS then that speaks volumes for his priorities.

[BusStopBetty]

Maybe get it back. He won't have got anywhere near what it's worth. Either sell it yourself and buy a cheap one or sell it back to him.

Then start thinking about the future.

[smilingeyes11]

I am afraid with all the other issues I would ltb. Drinking and shite with money - you are with him why?

[Spandexpanties]

Buy it back but change the locks to the garage. Or keep it elsewhere. Tell him it's your bike now and not his.

[Okkitokkiunga]

Fast forward 15 years. You buy DS a bike and he pawns it to go to the pub. Would you get it back?

your DH sounds like a child

Leave him at home and you go have fun with your DS.

[NameChange30]

Is he an alcoholic? Gambling addict? He must have some kind of addiction that he's wasting all this money on.

There is clearly a big backstory you're not telling us, and that's not really fair.

You say you know we'll tell you to LTB. So you know what you have to do. How do you feel about that? What's stopping you - emotionally and practically?

[AppleJac]

I wouldnt buy it back.

It was his present and it was his to sell. If you constantly bail people out then they never learn from their mistakes.

[NameChange30]

I've just read your other thread. Fuck me.
The pawned bike is the least of your problems.

[smilingeyes11]

Agree with Emma - wtf are you doing with this idiot? You need WA and to get away fast.

[BusStopBetty]

Ok, read your other thread.

Get the bike back, sell it and stash the money for your emergency LTB fund.

[LovesPeace]

I read your other thread too.
You need to keep the bike, and pawn the husband.

Seriously, I feel awful for your son. You need to put his safety before your vision of a 'great dad' and happily family life - it's not going to happen.

You deserve so much more - be kind to yourself and your boy, not the drunk.

[AppleJac]

I ve tried to search for the other thread but cant find it

[NameChange30]

smilingeyes That will be deleted as we are not allowed to post links to the OP's other threads. Annoying, but them's the rules.

[AppleJac]

Thank you

[bloodyteenagers]

Really? A great dad and a husband?
He is the polar opposite of this.
Do your child a favour. Put that money to good use and get him away from this toxic environment.
I really don't know how you can contemplate buying back a bike for an alcoholic who also uses drugs, to take out your child. When you don't trust him to be alone with your child.
Wake up and smell the coffee before it's too late and someone else makes that decision for you.
Your child needs you. THere's no helping an alcoholic who doesn't want to be helped, and he clearly doesn't.