Good places in London to meet an eligible 'husband material' man?

[SingleGirlInTheCity]

I'm not a mother but I do have a dilemma that you can hopefully help me with! I'm a new immigrant to London. I applied on a whim and I was unexpectedly offered a place on an economics PhD program. I'm mostly very excited to be here but I feel a twinge of misgiving when I realise that I'm twenty five and I'm here for the next five years.

I'd ideally like to meet and marry a man by the time I'm thirty. If I were back home it would be much easier as I have a close-knit social circle with intelligent, interesting, high-achieving men who are quite settled in their lives and entering into serious relationships now. However, student life in London is more transient and alienating. Everyone around me seems unsure of where life will take them and unlikely to be 'marriage material'. I don't have good friend or family here to introduce me to anyone and I find Tinder too superficial and frankly, unromantic.

At the risk of sounding like a character out of a Victorian romance, can I ask where one meets eligible men in London? The kind who are intelligent, successful, driven and ready to settle down and start a family in this city? Are there any particular clubs or professional institutions I could join perhaps? I come from a very culturally different place so sorry if this question sounds daft!

[Bentedbigmess]

Richmond and Twickenham. Highest proportion of single educated and reasonably well heeled men. Quite nice there too.

[IWillTalkToYouLater]

I'm interested to hear the answer to this ... I met my DH at university by the way (not London), as did my sister meet hers (London). Both married before 30 as it happens.

Go with the flow and don't put pressure on yourself is what I'd say.

[IWillTalkToYouLater]

Also, congratulations on being accepted

[mzS1990]

U find this really cute lol. I'm no help though

[blueshoes]

At your university

[LadyLapsang]

blueshoes, what I suspect you are missing is that OP wants to meet a high earning guy not one of her peers at university.

[ViolettaValery]

Guardian soulmates. They are deadly serious on there.

Srsly I don't know, but it's an interesting question. In my experience London is a melting pot of people who have arrived there because "settling down" is not really their thing, and that's not just students, it's everyone. It doesn't really have an upwardly-mobile professionals pairing-off culture, or not a visible one to me anyway. Any pairing off is done online via the more serious dating sites.

I would take another look at your fellow students, try to connect with things like law faculty events where people are doing degrees which lead to a high-flying careers, if that is your thing. And obviously if you have flatmates etc get them to introduce you to friends and friends-of-friends.

[LarkDescending]

I agree re the university or wider postgrad student network - it's a ready made pool of talented people to which you have access. Lawyers, economists, MBA students?

There must be a whole host of clubs available to postgrads which might appeal, depending on your interests, where you could meet people outside your immediate circle. Choir, tennis, volleyball, am dram, debating club, dining society, wine tasting, Scottish dancing? I bet there's a wealth of choice.

People sometimes talk of success in meeting people through other clubs such as Toastmasters (public speaking club), but I don't have personal experience of it.

[penisbeakerlaminateflooringetc]

Depending on what you're studying, become a member of the relevant chartering body.

[AyeAmarok]

I always think if you want to meet someone with X criteria, you need to make yourself that too. So you have something matching to offer them.

[blueshoes]

By the time the guy is high earning, unless you are gorgeous and trophy material or he is a toad, you are probably already too late. A better bet to go for one with potential ... ie your uni mates. Or work in London in a company that has a big graduate intake. The graduate batches tend to be hotbeds of sin, with lots of relationship shagging potential.

I wonder whether sugar daddy sites like seekingarrangements are any good for this sort of thing. May not be what the OP is looking for if marriage is her goal.

[HellonHeels]

Ha! Shouldn't you be focusing on the PhD?

[elQuintoConyo]

I've heard there's a red-headed hottie available, lots of money, big house off the mall behind St James Park. Feeds the squirrels, helps old ladies- great with kids, especially his older brother's.

[KatieKaboom]

Can you try advertising in the back of the Spectator? Or perhaps a billboard, the converse of the one depicted?

[KatieKaboom]

Eqc .

[ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe]

Asda's ready made meal isles
, at the end of the day, just try not to get into a foght over the cut price lasagne, it's not ladylike, eligible Brits like their manners.

[Itsnowornever01]

Get on with your PHD. Forget the men, plenty of time for that.

[SingleGirlInTheCity]

Thank you all for your helpful messages! Just to clarify, I'm certainly not looking for a 'sugar daddy' or a man who can sponsor a lavish lifestyle. I'm very ambitious and part of the reason why I'm doing this PhD is with the hope that it could lead to a high paying career afterwards.

But where I come from it's considered desirable to find a man who is a little older and better established than you so he doesn't feel threatened by your education/ ambition. So I'd ideally like to find someone who has graduated and is working successfully as opposed to someone who is going to be competing for the same career opportunities and academic honours as me.

[Toxicity]

Where are you from SingleGirl?

[OTheHugeManatee]

Guardian Dating. That's where I found mine

[CesareBorgiasUnicornMask]

I can do intelligent, interesting and high-achieving OP, if you don't mind a side order of either rabid socialism, equally rabid libertarianism or no particular political opinions but a tendency to shag anything that moves and then climb out the window before she (or he) wakes up .

In retrospect there is a reason I didn't marry any of my male university friends...

In all seriousness though, either wait and see how things go - you might meet someone through your course - not just other students! Or if you're determined not to do online dating (I met my very lovely dh on okcupid ) try something like meetup where you can find people with similar interests and romance can potentially blossom.

[Just5minswithDacre]

Sounds like a very specific gap in the dating app market to me.

[Dachshund]

Try joining the gym in a nice well heeled respectable area and take it from there.

Richmond/Dulwich/Barnes etc don't go for obvious posh areas like Mayfair and Chelsea they're full of dickheads

[Just5minswithDacre]

I can do intelligent, interesting and high-achieving OP, if you don't mind a side order of either rabid socialism,

Can you put that one to one side for me please?

(This hyper- goal -orientated dating could catch on )

[sparechange]

I'm a member of a running club in SW London
Of the 300-ish active members, we've had 4 or 5 weddings over the last few years
It obviously helps if you have an interest in running, but I imagine other (mixed) sports clubs would be very similar. Even if you don't want to play the sport, there will be an active social side.
For example, our running club has a weekly book club, cycling club, monthly curry night etc

Or you could join a members club? Soho House, Home House, RAC, Lansdowne, Arts Club. All about £1k a year in membership fees and will have a really active social scene. You'll need to be nominated and seconded by existing members though.