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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Dating friends

13 replies

georgiatraher · 14/07/2016 10:01

I have a bit of a crush on someone in my friendship group.

We have been messaging more than usual, chatting in general but a bit of flirting...

We spend Sunday together at a national trust property... and nothing happened, but we had a good time and talked alot about relationships. there were a couple little moments between us, but nothing else.

Have since set up second date that isnt a date at all. He opened the suggestion with your place or mine...

So we're hanging out now alone... and I can't tell if we're still friends or if it's something more. I'm wary of being too forward incase I lose a friend but on the otherhand would be very okay with something happening there.

Basically anyone got any idea what he might be thinking? Or what I should do when I go round tonight?

OP posts:

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princessmi12 · 14/07/2016 15:46

I suppose he's thinking same as you
Id be careful ending up in " friends with benefits situation" as it can be very awkward due to large circle of friends.
I wouldn't DTD without "relationship" talk first

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georgiatraher · 14/07/2016 16:26

You're so right! Especially as I am not really interested in that atm. Want a BF or a friend.

More talking it is! Thanks for the advice. I think I was feeling impatient because I don't like not knowing where I stand.

(seeing him in an hour ha ha!)

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princessmi12 · 14/07/2016 18:03

Have a good time! Let us know how it goes :)

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Summerlovinf · 14/07/2016 18:16

'Your place or mine?' means he thinks sex is a possibility I would say. He's sounding you out on that.

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SoleBizzz · 14/07/2016 18:31

No sex.

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TheNaze73 · 14/07/2016 20:08

DTD should be up to you & how you are feeling. People of both sexes, will say whatever they think you'll want to hear for sex, so go with your gut & enjoy

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princessmi12 · 14/07/2016 20:11

TheNaze
Can't believe what you are saying
They are not randomers hooking up,they have friends in common so likely to be in each others life. If things go wrong it can be very awkward for OP

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georgiatraher · 15/07/2016 09:42

Went to his house for dinner and a movie.
Had some giggles and banter. His house mates were lurking around and we watched it in the living room.

There wasnt time/privacy for an actual chat. we were leaning into eachother a bit. then I put my legs over his lap, but nothing but relaxed friendly touching under the blanket.

He lives pretty far away from me, so I had to make a move. he did say, Ohhhh or you could stay here and watch (what ever we were watching on you tube.)

I think we're friends. :( Nevermind. probably for the best.

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Summerlovinf · 15/07/2016 10:30

I think 'ooooh or you could stay here' means he's interested in being more than friends

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georgiatraher · 15/07/2016 11:07

THE PLOT THICKENS.

Hes going away this weekend (quick trip to Munic, back on Monday)

He's missing a UV party I am going to. talking about my outfit (white catsuit, bought primarily to look as naked as possible, based on a facebook conversation where people joked I would be wearing neon body paint only, am going for closest most modest version)

I mentioned nearly naked dancing he will be missing out on (we're all dancers). Then upped the anti and said we could have done that last night but now you're running away.

reply: Don't tell me this NOW!

I just don't know if this is still friendly joking or not!

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princessmi12 · 15/07/2016 11:27

I think he's interested but not sure in what exactly.Friends with benefits or more.
Id say directly by text after he's back from Munic-lets make plans for the weekend,why don't you take me out on a DATE? (use word DATE) in a cheerful manner. If he agrees and confirms DATE with enthusiasm,you are heading towards dating.If he flakes out under excuses ,id say you should back off completely and just see him as friend amongst other friends without being alone.

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princessmi12 · 15/07/2016 11:29

and by date means a meal in a restaurant or something like that when you can actually have conversation one to one,not at his or your place :)

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georgiatraher · 15/07/2016 12:43

Yes, good point. going to have to get a straight answer at some point.

Am keeping things quiet from friends for now, in case it's nothing (neither of us are telling people; unspoken agreement.) It suggests to me that if something were to happen we'd have to be sure of each other before going public...

Maybe he's just really nice and cautious.