Sorry I just need to get this off my chest.....,,I have been with my oh for almost 17 years, married for almost three, two children, aged 4 and 1. I have probably been unhappy for a few years but have always pushed those niggly thoughts aside as we have been together for so long, and im from a broken family etc. Probably in the last 6 months or so I have been thinking more and more about how I unhappy I am and keep going over and over in my head after every row etc. We have no spark, there is no affection his side at all. No intimacy. His job is very demanding and is away a lot, out a lot, coming home late and often drunk. I feel like I don't get a lot of support at home. We argue/bicker constantly and very rarely go out. Any social engagements are almost always arranged by me l, along with every other part of family life. When he is home is he miserable, shouts at the kids etc? Complains about everything. He has no get up and go at all. We have talked/argued before about these issues, I explained I cannot live in a loveless/sexless marriage, never going out etc, He would say he would change, make an effort etc and it would all last a week at the most before he was back to his old self. I've felt like we have gone round and round in circles getting no where. Then a couple of months ago an old work colleague got in touch,m via texting. it started off just talking, catching up etc then he made it clear he wanted more and had a thing for me back in the day, things got flirty and escalated. At this point I realised my marriage was over for me as i would never have contemplated talking to another man. Nothing ever happened with him but I started to feel what would it be like if it did. It took me a few weeks, going over and over in my head about splitting up - could I do it, do I really want to, what about the kids, money etc. I spent weeks laying awake in bed, crying, feeling so low and unhappy, then I finally had the 'conversation'. It's been awful, he took it badly, no one understands my reasons. From the outside we have the perfect life - nice house, I don't have to work, no money worries etc. But no one sees the real him or the rows we have etc. We are going for counselling at his request but I feel I'm done and just don't know what to do. He has been staying at a friends but texting me constantly saying how alone he is and how devastated he is and will do anything which is making it so hard, plus I have huge guilt about texting the other man.
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