Hi. My first post... bear with me. To cut a long story short... Met a guy on holiday, he lived in Oz, I lived in London. I went to Oz for three months, fell madly in love, we decided I'd move there: the big love story I'd been waiting for (I am 42, he's 50). We get on great, have loads in common etc.
I've always liked Australia and was well up for it. I work remotely and can do it from Oz. BF is lovely, deffo the love of my life, all my friends liked him, said we're well matched etc etc.
I went home for a couple of months - I have a flat in London so I cleared it out, cleaned, tidied, and rented a room to a lodger . BF visited for a few weeks and saw my nice, clean, organised home.
But he lives completely differently... like a student. He shares a potentially great flat with another guy but they're slobs - food left out, cupboards left open, random objects dumped wherever they choose, rarely clean anything, washing never put away etc.
I have tried everything - tried to live with it, got really upset, sulked. I ask him to do X,Y, Z and he agrees, apologises, but it never happens. So I nag and hate myself.
We discussed moving without the flatmate but decided to stay put as the flat is nice, big, great location, pool etc.
I am resentful he didn't clean/declutter (as discussed) while I was back in London sorting my flat out (a lot of hard work, zero fun). A lot of the dirt/issues pre-date me so I am reluctant to do it... I didn't move here to be a f*cking cleaner.
I have considered moving out but we need to live together for visa purposes and I love him and want to be with him.
Obviously it's affecting our relationship as I am pissed off/resentful all the time . We go on nice nights/days out but returning to the mess just makes me grumpy.
I was prepared for missing my friends, family, London etc not here... but not for not feeling at home in the flat. It's making me miserable and affecting my motivation for finding new friends, doing stuff here etc. I really want it to work though - I love BF and Australia.
So.... help!
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Relationships
Romantic dream has turned into seething resentment about the cleaning
writergirl74 · 11/07/2016 00:14
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