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Fallen out of love with DH?

(7 Posts)
pitsandpeaks Sun 10-Jul-16 10:10:49

I started a thread a couple of months ago asking for advice because my dh was considering leaving me (threads disappeared) the general consensus from responses was he is a complete man child who couldn't accept his responsibilities and I'd be better off without.

Anyway I chucked him out until he went to see a doctor and he was diagnosed with depression. In hindsight he has obviously always struggled on and off with this, but he had to be forced to see someone about it.

It's been 5 weeks since diagnosis and I'm trying to be a good wife, stand by him, support him through this- I have some health problems and can actually understand his mindset slightly more since the diagnosis. I know marriages are hard, I'm prepared to work at it.

However he has destroyed me, the whole time he was deciding how he felt I was basically a wreck-crying, screaming, begging and he was nothing. This went on for nearly 3 months, I was so sure it was over I'd started contemplating telling the kids, sorting how I'd afford it and dating again. I'm so numb now when I look at him- I can't believe he could do that to me and then expect me to just get over it, I no longer feel secure with him. All his man child flaws are ten fold to me now. I feel unappreciated and unloved, can't imagine sleeping with him until these things are resolved. But how? I have tried discussing it with him but he doesn't understand what I'm getting at. He just says he does love me and I should stop being 'silly'.

Im worried I've fallen out of love with him.

TamaraHiddlestoned Sun 10-Jul-16 10:17:15

I don't think he deserves you.

Joysmum Sun 10-Jul-16 11:24:45

Ok I can understand issue around depression, but telling you to stop being silly disregards your feelings and is not respectful of your needs and the height of selfishness. It's no wonder you think you've fallen out of love with him!

AtrociousCircumstance Sun 10-Jul-16 11:27:00

You don't have to stay with someone because they are depressed. It doesn't make you a bad person to leave someone who has depression. Being depressed doesn't make him King of your destiny and quash all your personal freedoms.

You are entitled to leave someone you no longer love.

SandyY2K Sun 10-Jul-16 11:28:25

Sounds like you'd be happier without him.

lifeisunjust Sun 10-Jul-16 11:58:35

If you don't suffer from mental health issues, it's hard finding the words. If you believe in marriage, then make it work and that means talking. If you don't believe in marriage, then leave.

AtrociousCircumstance Sun 10-Jul-16 13:54:46

That's ridiculous. If your marriage is unhappy and you're unhappy it's meaningless to say 'stay if you believe in marriage'. And oppressive.

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