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Relationships

Brother marrying a nightmare

47 replies

Italktomycat · 09/07/2016 22:21

I love my brother very much but he's very much a 'laid back' person. I am too, but we are very different.

He has a girlfriend (of two years) and they've just become engaged. I'm really worried about him.

So they are pretty normal at the start of their relationship but kind of live in (as I see) a 'not real world' for the first year of the relationship as they both live at home (so lots of dates, holidays but none of the day todaystuff)

His fiancé is lovely at this point, dizzy, funny endearing but there are little weird habits tbat happen such as she tidies my brothers room and mums house when she goes there.

When they move in together more cracks appear. She has mountains of stuff everywhere, he has little and what he has is in a back bedroom. Still I'm not worried as he's never lived away so has little stuff.

Then comes the first big thing. I live 3 streets away. He calls, asking me to come in the street... I oblige and he comes round the corner crying and incoherent. Turns out they've had a massive fight over the house and she's called him lazy and blah blah blah. Didn't make sense, why was he crying? He says he's punched a wall, she's thrown a glass and ripped a necklace he's bought her off.

I advise him that little things such as differences about tidying/ house happen in relationships but you don't sweat the small stuff because eventually big stuff comes along. He says he has to break up with her. Can't live under a microscope anymore, doesn't feel comfortable in his own home. Can't put his shoes in certain places/leave books out or anything. Says she's a nightmare for controlling his weekends\always has something planned.

Next day I check on him and he says ' we've worked things out, thanks' that's it, never mentioned again.

Next week they've put an offer on a house. She's got builders organised for an extension, planning work on the house for the next 6 months. I'm baffled as think with such a new relationship/ so soon after a fight you should let the dust settle.

Our mum asks him is he sure , it's a big step etc. They move in, house renovation
Going at an alarming rate he's not seeing family etc as always at work on house.

Big family meal they can't aren't as they're going to a beer fest. Whole family is
Sitting in restaurant (30 of us) and she walks in with a weird look on her face. Everyone says 'oh we thought you couldn't make
It! And she bursts into tears. No sign of my brother. Now whole family meal
Is directed at my brothers crying girlfriend and not at the person who's 50th it was.

Turns out they've hd another big bust up at the beer fest. He's been messaging other girls on the Internet (total shit)
But she's now at his family telling everyone. I'm keeping out at this
Point but then my brother turns up. Crying. I take him downstairs and he explains this happened at he start of their relationship and one of her friends brought it up
Again nearly. 2 years later at the beer fest they were attending. Apparently his gf had said to him 'I know where your family are and I'm going up there ' basically
To expose him.

Next day he goes to stay with my mum to try some time apart and she turns up with she sister and a car full of his stuff. Dumps
It on lawn. He says 'I co own the house so you can't kick me out, I'm staying with mum for space'

So basically he explains she's spent all his money on house renovations (he doesn't eat a lot as a mental health nurse) even whey jes explained to her he doesn't have enough. He says she's planned things for them to do every weekend for the next few months. He feels stifled and ignored. He found out she's come off her pill as she wants a baby. She bought an engagement ring (for her self) and told him to surprise her with it (wtf)

Anyway to my surprise ( and horror) he moves back in with her a week after. He next thing in know is that my mum tells me she's taking the ring with her to a family holiday so he can propose...

2 weeks later he proposes with her ring and she says yes. They have been engaged 3 weeks now and she's booked the venue, bought her dress and organised the flowers.

I'm so worried about him being swept along and being a 'thing' to enable her to get some events she's planned for a long time (wedding baby).

What do you think?

X

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Buggers · 09/07/2016 22:26

They sound as bad as each other if I'm honest.