MIL and her mental health

[FrancisdeSales]

I have been here in the past due to my struggles with MIL and my DHs tolerance of her very bizarre behaviour.

Last week she sent DH a letter to his workplace which was frankly delusional and psychotic. She sincerely believes that certain men are able to come out of their bodies and come to where she is and have sex with her. The letter was very graphic, 3 closely typed pages of A4. It was of course very worrying and it upset me a lot to know how much she was struggling mentally with no medical intervention. Well it's been a week and her family have basically done nothing. I have spoken to a mental health crisis center and also a psychologist with a PhD who works with people in crisis in MILs home town. I passed the info onto DH and he and his family have done nothing.

I haven't spoken to any of them except for DH and I don't think it is my place to get involved. We don't live in the UK and live about 12 hours away from her. DH is going to visit this weekend but I am starting to lose any hope or confidence that the family will try and get her any meaningful medical help.

There is also a tangled aspect where if DH and I are having anything happy happen she seems to enter a crisis. When DH showed me the letter he said "Do you think it has anything to do with the house?" because we are finally buying a house after living abroad and renting for many years.

I really don't know what to make of it all

[Unicorntrainer]

Hi, I came upon your thread whilst trawling 'mental health'. I am sorry nobody has replied with any useful answers. I have no help to offer, but hand holding if you need somewhere to come and vent.

I have issues of my own, and would just say 'be kind'. I suspect some men just aren't good at dealing with things out of the norm. That doesn't make him a bad person. You sound like a lovely DIL x

[Olives106]

We're going through something similar with my mother. The distressing fact is there's nothing much you can do if the person refuses to accept medical or psychological help, as legally they have the right to do with certain, very tightly-defined, exceptions. Unless she is threatening imminent harm to herself or someone else she can't be treated against her will. The best thing is probably to call her GP and make them aware, but because of medical confidentiality while they can listen they won't be able to tell you what, if anything, transpires.

It's really tough to be in this situation with a family member, and I'm sorry. Your DH will probably have to tread very carefully to avoid alienating her further. All I can offer is try not to let it affect the relationship between the two of you, set some clear external boundaries and see if you can come up with a common plan for dealing with her or if she can't be helped, minimising the impact of her illness on your relationship. Take care