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I feel trapped

(5 Posts)
LoveMySituation Thu 07-Jul-16 12:31:04

I don't know where to start with this, so I'll start at the beginning. My mum left when I was 5, and left me with my dad, we didn't (and still don't) get on, I believe he was physically and emotionally abusive to me, he doesn't. But I remember many times that he was.

When I can I go to live with my mum. Living with her wasn't great, until she got very ill, and we started to get on. At around this time I have a baby son, I have PND, my mum dies when he is 5 months old, the relationship with son's dad ends, and I am in a horrible place. So I move in with my dad.

It is ok, barring the time when he suddenly decided I was lying about PND and decided to 'restrain' me-he's always treated me as a liar and dismissed most of what I say. Anyway long story short, my sons dad takes me to court, I have an awful psych report-I now have OCD, my dad gains PR at court, and the court orders the child's dad to have residency, and my dad and me to have contact at the same time -as I am staying there prior to moving.

I figure there's nothing I can do, and our contact is pitiful, so I leave-which makes sense to me at the time -and try to get well. 5 years later, with minimal contact, I am back, my son now lives with my dad, who has virtually shut me out. My son and i have a great time together -I have tried to explain things and that if I was thinking straight I would have stayed, and he knows I love him -but I have to stay quiet about everything to keep the peace. I am not allowed to mention there is no toothbrush for my son, and everything is done his way, and my son is being manipulated into thinking how my dad does about me. Like I said I'm trapped, there's no money for court, and I just don't know what to do. I am glad my son is no longer with his awful father, but I feel I may as well not exist

LoveMySituation Thu 07-Jul-16 14:51:00

Anyone?

fastdaytears Thu 07-Jul-16 14:54:35

How long has your son been with your dad?

What have you personal circumstances been the past 5 years of no contact? Do you have other children?

It does sound really tough

RosieandJim89 Thu 07-Jul-16 14:56:23

How old is your son now?
Are you in a position to support him? Is he happy?

LoveMySituation Thu 07-Jul-16 15:31:52

Thanks for the replies. I have no other children and my son is almost 12, he has not long ago decided he wanted to live with my dad, rather than his own dad, who I was surprised didn't try to stop him going. He is much happier with my dad, and my dad is much better with him than he is/was with me. I am now currently in a rented room whilst looking for a house in the place my son is

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