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housewarming dilema

(7 Posts)
dafi Tue 05-Jul-16 06:39:09

I am a bit lost, I have agreed to live in my husband country for a while and he promised me to make me feel home, but as we are moving to our new house tomorrow he mention his tradition and its all fine as we are all Christians but one thing I cannot agree is to hold fire with my mother in law and lit it for the first time, am I right or have I missed something?

GrimmauldPlace Tue 05-Jul-16 06:46:03

Can you explain a little about the tradition? I presume you light something and you don't want your MIL lighting it with you? Is that right?

dafi Tue 05-Jul-16 07:00:08

the house will be blessed and I meant to lit the fire for the first time

GrimmauldPlace Tue 05-Jul-16 07:05:17

Is there a reason your MIL wants to light it with you? Have you spoken to your DH about it?

I don't know whether you're right or not as I haven't heard of this tradition before (the fire lighting not the blessing) but if the tradition is that it should be lit by whoever will be living in the house and your MIL won't be living there then I can understand why you would want to do it.

blueskyinmarch Tue 05-Jul-16 07:10:50

Is this his tradition or yours? If it is his and he wants his mother to do the fire lighting with what are you worried about? I am not familiar with this tradition and to me it seems like a very minor thing to be worried about. Maybe you can tell us more about the tradition?

Costacoffeeplease Tue 05-Jul-16 07:11:26

Why does it matter who lights the fire?

Joysmum Tue 05-Jul-16 09:06:50

I think it depends on whether you'll feel undermined or have strong feelings against the tradition.

To put it in to context, I'm a Humanist and wanted to get married in a historical location.

My DH's family and my grandparents were very religious and DH, although he isn't, wanted to get married in our local church where he went to Sunday school. His feelings for that were stronger than mine against do we did...and it was lovely.

When it came to christening our DD, I refused to make a promise I had no intention of keeping but gave him the green light to do so alone if he felt strongly about it. He didn't as he isn't religious.

So, do you feel undermined or sidelined?

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