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to be considering going to the Drs to get signed off work?

(14 Posts)
bogofeternalstench Mon 04-Jul-16 13:26:45

My husband is leaving me. Found out 8 days ago (Sunday). I had to leave work on Monday because I couldn't stop crying and then didn't go in Tuesday. Went back Wed & Thurs but came home again Thurs PM and wasn't in Fri.
I have barely stopped crying since he told me. I hurt, physically & emotionally. I can't sleep properly and can't concentrate on anything for more than 10 minutes.

I'm in work today after telling myself I had to come in or it would look really bad, but I have spent all morning hiding the fact that I am crying, and not really being able to do anything productive.

I feel absolutely broken and hopeless and crap. I just want to hide in bed until I feel more able to face the world. Would a Dr sign me off for this? Is it reasonable? I don't know, I've not had my heart broken before - how do people cope and go into work as normal? This is too fucking hard. sad

kali110 Mon 04-Jul-16 13:29:20

I don't think you would be unreasonable to be signed off for this.
You've had a huge shock. I'm sure others will tell you that you will be unreasonable, but not everybody is able to cope with things like this well.
I'm so sorry you're going through this flowers

mummyto2monkeys Mon 04-Jul-16 13:38:02

You are absolutely not being unreasonable and I am more than sure that your g.p would be able to sign you off temporarily. You are grieving for your marriage and you will get through this, but right now you need space, support and understanding. Do you have children together? Do you have any family who can come and stay to help you for a few days? I'm guessing that there is another woman, please dont do the pick me dance you will regret it. I would ask for this to be moved to relationships where you will get support and advice, emotional and practical.

bogofeternalstench Mon 04-Jul-16 13:43:06

Thanks for the replies.

No children & no, no other woman. My husband is from the US and will be going back there. Reasons are complicated but we do still love each other which is making this even harder.

HippyPottyMouth Mon 04-Jul-16 13:45:09

BIL was signed off for a month when his relationship ended. He looked grey, went from skinny to skeletal and was clearly unwell. By the time his sick note ended he was coping much, much better.

Claraoswald36 Mon 04-Jul-16 13:47:19

My gp was quite strict about signing me off and seem surprised I didn't ask for it when I separated. Do it now you need a break

AnchorDownDeepBreath Mon 04-Jul-16 13:47:49

My doctor offered to sign me off when I was broken by splitting with DP last year. He gave me some sleeping tablets, too. I didn't get signed off in the end because I mope, so I threw myself into work. I was useless to start but my productivity grew and I got over it.

There's light at the end of the tunnel. I know it doesn't feel like it, and some days can feel crushing, but there really is.

JaneAustinAllegro Mon 04-Jul-16 13:53:35

I'd suggest speaking your line manager or to HR at your company first, if you know them and they're tame / good - work with them and not against them (they will I'm sure allow you compassionate leave) because the very last thing you want to do is jeopardise your job. At least let them know you are going to speak to your doc about it.

bogofeternalstench Mon 04-Jul-16 14:21:13

My line manager is aware of what's happened and, to be fair to him, hasn't uttered a single word about the time I've had off so far.

Thanks again for your input everyone. I'm going to try and get through today and then ring the GP and see how long it would be until I can get an appointment.

bogofeternalstench Mon 04-Jul-16 15:52:24

How do I ask for it to be moved please? I've tried clicking various options and I can't see it.
Thank you. smile

yorkshapudding Mon 04-Jul-16 17:54:27

When a friend I work with went through something similar she confided in our boss and she allowed her to take emergency annual leave for a week. Would that be an option for you?

DawnMumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 04-Jul-16 20:34:18

Hi there, we're moving this thread over to our Relationships topic now.

flowers for you, OP.

Mintychoc1 Mon 04-Jul-16 22:54:48

I'm a GP and I often sign people off for relationship break ups. Also, sick notes can be backdated, so you can stay off work and then backdate the note once you see your GP.

jayho Mon 04-Jul-16 23:07:29

Get signed off, a sick note is 'advice' these days, once your manager is aware and can advise, you can choose to work when you feel able. A sick note does not mean you have to stay at home, it will allow you and your employer to manage the situation you are currently in.

flowers to you, so sorry, been there

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