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DH's interview disappointment

(7 Posts)
threadender Thu 30-Jun-16 16:51:43

DH recently left the job he had for several years. He was paid reasonably well and had a supervisory role. His official reasons for leaving were childcare issues (not entirely untrue as we both worked shifts) and mental health concerns (he was signed off for a few weeks last year with depression).
However the real reason was that he was required to renew his disclosure and since the last one had been done, he had received a caution for possession of a controlled substance. He had to tell to his boss as hiding it would have resulted in him being fired. His boss referred it to his manager who went mad! He was given the option to resign or face disciplinary action. Given the manager's reaction he felt sure he'd be sacked and thought it best to leave in order to keep his reputation intact when seeking future employment.

Since he finished up he has put a lot of effort into getting a new job and has applied for many positions. He kept getting rejected but had an interview yesterday for a job that would be ideal for him. He believes he was the only person put forward for the job (it was through an agency). Unfortunately he didn't get it. The reason given was that he was 'too quiet' when answering the questions.
He says he is 'crushed'. I've tried to be supportive, reassure him that it was only the first interview, there will be more, to use the feedback to answer better next time. He's not listening though.

I'm really worried that this will be a major blow to him and his mental health will suffer. How can I get him to believe in himself, pick himself up and keep trying to find work?

adora1 Thu 30-Jun-16 16:57:31

Sounds like you are doing everything OP, he shouldn't feel too down hearted, it was his first interview!

It can take a while to secure a job, he will just have to keep at it, there is no other way.

He's actually lucky you stood by him, caught with drugs fgs.

threadender Thu 30-Jun-16 18:27:51

Thank you. I really hope it works out for him soon.

The drugs thing wasn't his finest moment. I was furious, especially as it led to him quitting his job. He's working on this along with his issues with depression. I think hope he has learnt the price of his stupidity the hard way.

Montane50 Fri 01-Jul-16 16:09:35

Are the drugs and his mh linked?
He's a lucky man, personally I'd be furious he's compromised my family's future. But i hope it works out for you x

onemoremummy Fri 01-Jul-16 16:23:38

Have you got children together? (You know where this is going)

threadender Fri 01-Jul-16 16:49:41

There's not a direct link between the drugs and his depression but it certainly doesn't help him to feel well, for example the effect that losing his job has had on him and us. Drug use is just another symptom I believe.
Yes we have one dc (I know what you're going to say!) He is well aware of the effect his actions can have on his family, and the example it sets.

I've no idea why he decided to take drugs, I'm completely anti. He's has attended drug and alcohol support sessions so I'm hoping that will help him to take charge of his problems, and in turn, help to improve his health.

SandyY2K Fri 01-Jul-16 18:15:49

Well he got feedback and can use that positively in his next interview.

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