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Ex threatened me

(12 Posts)
user1465406172 Wed 29-Jun-16 16:28:53

Hi,
I'm 20 years old, my son is three. My ex (23) has been causing a lot of issues when he has been coming to visit my son! At least once a week he starts an argument, which I try extremely hard to not try and get into but he just will not stop. He calls me names I.e a whore, pathetic...anything he can think of, I normally try to ignore it! I've asked him many times not to do these things or start getting angry as he's here to see his son. Yesterday he started his usual crap...and I lost it, I really lost my temper...I'm embarrassed that I did, but this has been going on for so long that I'm so tired, I'm nervous when I know he's coming round, I can't express how bad it's starting to make me feel...I told him to get out and he wouldn't leave I tried to turn him towards the door and he started shoving me and started saying he was going to punch me in the fucking face and kept shoving me, I kept saying for him to get out and he slammed one of the entrance doors and punched the glass through and left...my son seen everything. Im scared, I don't know how to handle this situation, I don't know what steps I should take to prevent this...I really need some advice I feel so shaken and I can't think straight.

Wonkydonkey44 Wed 29-Jun-16 16:29:56

Call the police now!

ImperialBlether Wed 29-Jun-16 16:32:42

I agree - call 101 now and ask to report domestic violence. You poor thing. Do you have any friends or family you can ask to come round?

hellsbellsmelons Wed 29-Jun-16 16:34:12

Absolutely call the police.
Get this logged with them.
Press charges if you feel you can.
Do NOT let this violent thug see your son again.
If he wants to then it's via a contact centre.
It sounds very scary but if you have no real life support you could ask Social Services to help you.
If you do have some family support then use them.
i.e. he picks up from a friends or family members house. or you have someone with you for handovers.

But personally, I'd be stopping any contact.
This is very damaging for your DS to see.
SS can help you as they understand that seeing their mother being abused is abusive to the child and they won't want that to continue!

hellsbellsmelons Wed 29-Jun-16 16:35:18

Also, contact Womens Aid. 0808 2000 247
They can put you in contact with local services who can help you.
Also ask them about their Freedom Programme.
After such abuse this course will be very good for you.
And as you are so young it will really help you avoid future abusive relationships.

glasgowlass Wed 29-Jun-16 16:39:29

You need to call the police. They will advise you as to your next steps. He obviously has form for this so you need to take steps to protect yourself and your child.
Agree with Imperial do you have anyone to come round to sit with you?
It's understandable to be so shaken, you've had a terrible ordeal. You do need to phone the police though, this behaviour is totally unacceptable & could escalate quickly.
Make sure you eat & drink, it's easy to forget to look after yourself when in shock or shaken.

BlueLeopard Wed 29-Jun-16 16:40:11

Call the police. No question.

OurBlanche Wed 29-Jun-16 16:44:12

Take a deep breath.

You MUST tell someone about this. You might need to build up a picture of your ex as an angry man with a tendency to violence. You might need to do this in case he ever chooses to hit you. If you can show a pattern of behaviour it will be easier for you to proceed.

So, don't choose not to as it is the first time, only a door, your DSs dad, you pushed his buttons, you shouldn't have got angry, your DS saw it all, Social Services will think you are a bad mum, or any other reason anyone ever suggests to you. Choose to do it to protect yourself and your DS now and in the future.

Call 101 and report it.

Call WA and get their advice on how to protect yourself. This is probably the best and most important call you can make.

Tell your HV or GP and ask if they can help.

DO NOT let him into your house again, tell him he needs to arrange a neutral place for his contact. NOTHING he says should make you relent, he threatened you with violence and damaged your home.

DO tell friends/family so that they are aware and can help you.

DO NOT be embarrassed, about your actions or his. Just be safe.

candybar007 Wed 29-Jun-16 16:45:11

Report it now! Take photo`s of the smashed glass door then as above get help to keep the bastard away from you and your son, now he has done it once he will think he can get away with it, next time it could be your head going through the glass !

user1465406172 Wed 29-Jun-16 17:59:16

Thank you for the replies.
My mum came round last night after it happened and helped me clear up, so I wasn't by myself. I do have a picture of the door and the damage so probably will call 101 I don't know why I'm so frightened to ring! I never thought he was like this ever...but since we broke up he has gradually got worse and worse every week. I'm scared to do a handover, because I'm very sure hes hanging round with rough people and I don't trust him anymore with where he takes him...I've heard rumours his gf is a drug dealer I don't know if this is true as it's just rumours but really doesn't reassure with how he's been behaving. I don't think I've came to terms with how bad this situation is/getting I've been trying to make it work so we are friendly...but it's obviously not going to happen, he keeps ringing but I haven't answered.

SandyY2K Wed 29-Jun-16 18:10:12

Once this matter has been sorted out you need to arrange drop offs and pick ups via a third party or in a public place.

He should not be allowed to come to your house anymore as he cannot stop his horrible behaviour.

glasgowlass Wed 29-Jun-16 18:13:53

Please please call the police. Do it now. As I said up thread it's understandable that your shaken & im glad your Mum was with you last night.
The police are fabulous with issues like this. They will be patient & understanding with you. They will listen & will advise you what your options are. Could your mum be with you when you ring them? Moral support is very underated!
I wouldn't answer the phone. Maybe send him a text to ask him to stop harassing you because the constant ringing is harassment. You're only 20, you shouldn't be living in fear of what your ex may do next.

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