new baby, mum, 'ex'Dp.

[lovelilies]

Long story. Sorry for ramble- hope you can make a little sense of it...

Split up with DP in Nov when 9 weeks of with DC 2 (with him) already had DD now 11.
Bought house for me and DCs a few doors down from my mum, I know all neighbors kids play out etc, I like it here.

When I was having problems with DP, I naturally stupidly cried on my mums shoulder. She's my only family BTW, dad died when I was a baby and no siblings. Mum is estranged from my aunts uncles on both sides...

Now the new baby has arrived. A week ago on Monday. Ex P desperately wants us back as a family but I've said all along it will be at least 6 m after baby born before I can make a decision whether to try again or call it quits completely. He has been staying at my house since baby born ( I wanted him to) and has been great looking after DS, housework, cooking shopping etc.

My mum sways from 'can't stand him' won't even look at him, be in the same room etc, to chatting politics and being v amicable which is difficult and confusing for everyone esp DS who's only 2 ..

She is constantly telling DD how rubbish a job I'm making of being a mum, and also says it to me in front of DCs. Eg- DDs hair is such a mess (she hates brushing it) it's all your fault for being useless. DD should do more in the house but then when I ask/tell her to do something and am met with the usual pre teen grumps, it's MY fault she's so unhelpful

Anyway, today I asked that if she can't be supportive (her idea of support is taking DD riding and paying for it- which is nice, an offer of a hot meal or even a cup of tea and a hand with the laundry would be nice too but she won't do anything like that) then I'd rather she left us alone, paying for riding doesn't give her the right to slag me (and exP) off to DD.
I know I'm probably being over sensitive, I'm only a week post partum and can't see the wood for the trees.

It's really getting me down. Supposed to be such a happy time but I feel very alone

[techmonkey]

Oh bummer, overbearing mothers are awful...
You have picked a good position, but even if she helps.with laundry etc she STILL doesn't get to slag you off to anyone, especially your kids...
Be as firm.with her as with your ex/maybe person... And good luck!

[lovelilies]

Thank you for your reply. I know I need to be more assertive. When I feel human again I'll give it a good go. Just can't help feeling disappointed in my bloody mum.