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feel down hopeless fed up talked down and bullied

(8 Posts)
petshopboy Sat 25-Jun-16 21:03:26

hi long post posted here before about my bf trouble but the shits starting hitting the fan big time ok backstory were to start started dating bf 4 years ago big love story very happy till he moved in with me 2 yr ago as I was in a lot of debt said he would help and support me financially seemed like a good idea then started showing his true colours started off with going to see his parents every wk end fine by me then we couldn't go out Saturday any Saturday as it was his night ie takaway loads of drinks his tv then we stopped going out altogether with me just waiting for him to come back from his parents and the watching him get pissed on a Saturday I put up with this I also have a lodger who ive had since before he lived with me he was ok about it but then since he started living with me finds something to moan about this lad who justs minds his own business and is lovely he has to have a little winge to me about little things that annoy him when he hasn't did anything its making me so uncomfortable and I feel like we have to creep around him . my bf is lazy although to be fair works full time 5 am till 6 pm so I can understand hes tired . hes a bully ive lost count of the times we have rowed and he shouts his head off and when I ask he to leave and go back to his parents he threaten to rip the internet out and take his furniture he bought leaving me with no furniture he is aggressive so I'm scared of him I suppose on top of all this my poor dog is ill will have to be put down my dad is getting worse he has dementia which has really got bad over the last 9 wks ive been in tears with it one night came back and having spend a really stressful day with my dad felt like killing myself I got into a row because I was on the phone to my dad and was trying to explain something then my partner sat down and spoke to me like I was 2 yrs old kept repeating himself so I said ok I got your point then caused a massive row I was accused of spending no time with him just because I soent 2 weeks going to see my dad in evening I suspect he was annoyed cos hes dinner wasn't ready for him in the evening then he said how do u think I feel sitting here evry eve by myself .it got to the point I don't teel him anything about my dad because he always talks down to me its fine to give an opion but then he kinds off takes over then gets annoyed if I disagree with whats being said about my dad ie health or welfare concerns that's a example yestday went to see a flat was talking to the women in charge about various things I didn't understand he suddenly got angry just because he understood and I didn't tried to interrupt and was being sarcastic then stormed off bloody hell this is what I got to deal with daily as well as a sick dad no family no friends was counting on him for some moral support but realise I'm just getting bullied , went to his dads for a couple of days they know the stress I'm going through with my dad and his are sole dad starts moaning about milk in a joking way and I was having a private mobile conversation with a family member and when I got off the phone he said oh is she a pisshead then I was speechless as it was my family who has started to drink and go off the rails hes dads a miserable c,,, anyway but still felt really pissed off .
I spend most of the time avoiding bf
we haven't slept together for 6 months its a dictorship I feel like I cant deal with all the stress of chucking him out so its been left and left

petshopboy Sat 25-Jun-16 21:07:02

moaning about the milk because we had 4 cups of tea by the way sooo petty

Gazelda Sat 25-Jun-16 21:10:14

You'll feel far less stressed once you've kicked him out. He isn't bringing any joy to your life, is offering no moral support. He just adds to your woes. Can you get your lodger to help you find the strength to get rid of your BF.

littleblackno Sat 25-Jun-16 21:21:20

Tell him to leave. Internet and furniture can be replaced if he is so petty as to take it. Sounds like it's more stressful to live with him than the relative short stress of kicking him out.

petshopboy Sat 25-Jun-16 21:42:06

no don't want lodger getting involved as hes only a quiet timid boy
yeah furniture internet can be replaced I don't care abut it
its just the whole stress on top of stress without any support from family on top of my dad being ill
I feel angry with myself tbh that I haven't stood up to him but in a funny weird way will be also gutted that the fairytale ended this way .. I was going to marry him 3 yrs ago ,,
I actually cant stand him at times

littleblackno Sat 25-Jun-16 22:54:21

I understand you say "stress on top of stress" however you have the ability to get rid of some of that stress. He is of no support to you with your dad or any other aspect of your life so get rid.
Sounds like the fairytale was over a long time ago.
Take care of yourself, sounds like you have lots going on.

tipsytrifle Sat 25-Jun-16 23:42:12

It really is time for you to leave this hopeless and soul-draining situation. This man will be the death of you if you allow it. One way or another. I'm so very sorry about your beautiful dog. Everyone in your world pressing on you with illness and need. There is too much on your plate and this man is nasty in your face. This fairytale is over. Send it out the door so you can dream up a better one. Please.

petshopboy Sat 25-Jun-16 23:44:04

Hi he can be ok at times like making tea or trying to cheer me up by telling stupid jokes when im stresed out he says no pont in getting stressed about things like your dads dementia but i thought how can i not get stressed ! I wish it was simple to say goodbye put my foot down and tell him to go i wish i had a army of kind caring people backkng me up i dont i just have so many problems i dont no weather im coming or going lifes so cruel atm u would expect ur bf of 4 yrs to be supportive but tbh i feel hes got no thought for peoples feeling and just wants to control i have got a hell of a lot going on i feel like sleeping for a month im so down

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