please stop me texting him

[ktkaboom]

I went out this morning with my children when I came back partner had packed his bags and left and posted key through the door!!
I'm broken!! We have been on and off for a year while he battles with depression but I really thought things were getting so much better but now Ive come home to this I'm devastated!! He is ignoring my calls and texts someone please hold my hand and stop me contacting him!
After 10 years together I expected a bit more than that, at least a face to face conversation!! Am totally devastated cried all day I don't know how I am gonna get over this or explain to my children!!!

[ImperialBlether]

That's a horrible thing to do to you. You've sent him messages now so don't send any more. He won't read them anyway. If you want to say something to him, write it on your computer and don't send it. Get it all out of your system that way.

[SlowJinn]

Have you any idea where he has gone? If you are sure he is somewhere safe, then you need to look after yourself and the children for the time being. No need to tell them anything just yet. No need to call or text him either, give him some space to start with. Perhaps his depression is worse than anyone knows and this is the only way he can cope. Hopefully, in a day or so he will be in touch and you can have a face to face conversation about what the future holds for your family.

[tribpot]

If he's genuinely depressed, he's not capable of responding to your calls and texts at the moment and they may not be helping him.

If he's just fucked off and doesn't care that he's upset you, texting him is just showing weakness.

There's no upside to texting him any more - you've tried, it isn't working.

[ktkaboom]

He has read and ignored my msgs and gone through and blocked me on whatsapp Instagram snap chat and all the rest!!
I know I shouldn't keep contacting him but I'm devastated and I'm alone! I have no friends and no one to really turn to!!
My chest is actually physically aching with the hurt!!
Just can't believe someone could be so cruel!!
All he has said is that he needs to be away for a few months to work on himself and he's not sure if he wants to be with me anymore!!!

[ktkaboom]

That's it now I'm promising myself no more contact with him unless he contacts me first!!
I'm just gonna have to come here if I feel weak!!!

[Kimononono]

Delete everything out of your phone do you can't contact him.

[ktkaboom]

I thought about that kimononono but I know his number off by heart anyway just gonna have to summon all my strength and not do it as much as it hurts!!!

[TheNaze73]

Self discipline is called for. I don't mean this in a nasty way but, don't embarrass yourself any further

[SolsburyHell]

How is she embarrassing herself? They were together 10 years!!! Not 10 weeks of OLD.

[ktkaboom]

Yes thenaze I know your right I'm feeling pretty pathetic right now but am just so hurt and upset at the way he has gone about it!!!
No contact is the way forward and if I can get through tonight hopefully it will get easier!!!

[ktkaboom]

Thanks solsburyhell

[purplefox]

Block his number so you can't text him, then turn off your phone and put it out of sight, then just keep yourself busy for the rest of the evening.

Are your kids his kids?

[ktkaboom]

Yes they are purplefox so will have to stay in contact for them but I'm just telling myself if he wants to know how they are he needs to get in touch! My eldest is 6 so I can just put him straight on the phone if he calls!!

[starry0ne]

You are in shock and deserve answers however...It does not mean you are going to get them...The more you contact the less likely he is to get in touch..

Do you have RL support...It may be worth asking if anyone can come round once children are in bed.

Focus on you and your children..

[ktkaboom]

Thanks starry0ne my mum lives close but has her other grandchildren tonight so can't help out!! Just grabbed my neighbour for a half hour chat I didn't say what was going on but was nice to not be alone even if only for half an hour!

[fastdaytears]

If it's an iPhone then blocking stops him texting you but not the other way around. But I find blocking helps you feel calmer and stop obsessively checking the phone.

I'm so sorry about all this. What a massive giant cunt

[ktkaboom]

Thanks fastdaytears yes we are both iPhone users and that was what I was thinking at least if I block him I don't have the mini heart attacks everytime my phone beeps!!

[ktkaboom]

The children are in bed now and the tears are flowing!! I was going to open a bottle of wine but might be tempted to text if I do so Diet Coke it is!
I might sound a bit pathetic but I'm actually hurt that he knows how hurt I am and he just doesn't seem to care

[Purpleeggs]

I've just gone through this. Literally come on here when you feel like texting him or switch off your phone until the feeling passes. It's so hard block him. Try your hardest to remember that it's not you you're a good person you haven't done anything wrong and you can't change how other people feel

[ktkaboom]

Thank you purpleeggs sometimes it's just nice to know you're not alone!
And yes you're right and I can't change the way he feels and I do feel like I've always loved him more than he loves me! Just telling myself one day someone is going to come along and truly love me for who I am and isn't going to keep me on a hook for years

[Purpleeggs]

They will. being in a relationship on eggshells where he is depressed and wants to leave , even if he comes back again is just agony you don't need. Life is too short to be anything but happy. For him to not say anything at all well it just goes to show. Just keep your head up I'm trying not to fall apart I look like a nutter running round the local field to let my emotions out, screaming into my pillow watching tv etc etc cry let it out just don't even pour your heart out to him.

[ktkaboom]

Thank you purpleeggs and I'm so sorry you are going through it as well!!
Just feel like this would be so much easier if I had a social circle so I could make plans and keep busy or even just one friend I could pick the phone up to but I have no one!!

[fastdaytears]

You're right that having someone to talk to does make all the difference. People can surprise you. Is there anyone you can try? Your neighbour? A parent of one of the kids' friends?

If not, we're here

[Purpleeggs]

everydayfeminism.com/2015/07/toxic-partner-questions-to-ask/

Reading that article was like flicking a switch in my head

[fastdaytears]

Oh god that bit about not choosing who you love, but choosing who you're with

You can so do this OP. It gets better.