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So mad!!

(37 Posts)
bjornbaby Wed 22-Jun-16 15:09:41

I'm 26 weeks pregnant and my partner doesn't drive. He has know I'm pregnant since January. Since then I've been nagging him to take lessons as he will need to drive me to hospital when I go into labour.

We have no family nearby (at least 2 hours away) nor friends as we have recently moved to a new area. Plus I don't want my parents or anyone else to be put in this position. I also do not want my mother at the birth as she is very panicky and high stress.

Partner has just told me he's started to look at intensive lessons but the next available driving test is 2 weeks before baby is due...

I am so upset and angry right now. He is assuming he will pass first time which is ridiculous but also baby could come early! And I am not going to feel confident in a car with him after he has 2 weeks driving experience and needs to do 45min drive to our hospital which involves busy motorways...

I am so disappointed and just needed to get this off my chest...I wish I could drive myself but I know that's super dangerous.

If anyone know of any miraculous ways to book earlier test dates let me know!

Fuming...

SandyY2K Wed 22-Jun-16 15:16:15

Would you really want a newly qualified driver to take you to hospital ?

I suggest you calm down and don't stress yourself. Many people have babies who don't own a car.

Let him carry on and start the lessons. There will be plenty opportunity and need for him to drive after the birth.

You can get a taxi to the hospital. I know it's going to cost more ... but stress when pregnant isn't worth it.

bjornbaby Wed 22-Jun-16 15:21:29

Taxis don't always allow women in labour in their taxis. Plus I will need to get home with a baby - how? Install a car seat in the taxi on the way home?

Also I could be sent home from
Hospital several times during labour. I can't afford all the cab rides - the hospital is 45 mins away from our home.

I am mad because i will now be anxious worrying about the logistics of everything for the rest of the pregnancy :-(

bluelady7 Wed 22-Jun-16 15:29:48

Yes OP, your partner has been immature, lazy and a let down to you. I hope he shapes up when the baby is born. All I can suggest is use the time between now and the birth to research a cab firm who would be willing to take you in labour or phone for an ambulance when the time comes if no cabs are willing. When you are in labour, if they do want to send you home, explain your situation/kick up fuss/ whatever it takes to make them allow you to stay.

Best of luck with it all.

Mishaps Wed 22-Jun-16 15:32:16

If there is not a test slot available he has no choice but to go for that date - give him a break!

bjornbaby Wed 22-Jun-16 15:32:53

Thanks bluelady. I am so disappointed with him. It was just one thing he had to do and he has just put it off and put it off, and now I'm stuck in this embarrassing and annoying position...

I will have a look into cab drivers but I am worried about how I would get baby home in a cab. I don't have a carry car seat only a huge 0-4 seat

SandyY2K Wed 22-Jun-16 15:33:40

I'm sure not every single woman pregnant has a car in the family. you have a relative who could help out? Or a good friend? I actually took my DSis to hospital because her DH was with the other 3 kids until the morning.

Ask your midwife what options you have? If push comes to shove the ambulance will come for you.

I was in labour with my first for over 15 hours. A 45 minute drive is no time in that respect, but I know every pregnancy varies.

bjornbaby Wed 22-Jun-16 15:34:09

Mishaps - he's known I'm pregnant and that he'd need to pass test since January but has only looked into it now...

So no I will not give him a break. He's had nearly 6months and could've booked in a test and started lessons long ago.

Oddsocksgalore Wed 22-Jun-16 15:38:03

Do not use an ambulance just to get a lift.

You have ample time to arrange a lift so I don't understand why you are fuming.

Yankeetarts Wed 22-Jun-16 15:39:54

I have 2dc and used taxis both times had no problems with them

bjornbaby Wed 22-Jun-16 15:40:49

Hi Yankee - how did it work getting the babies home? Did you have to take a carry car seat with u and install in the taxi?

Yankeetarts Wed 22-Jun-16 15:41:40

Also there is a chance it could take a couple of try's to pass his test

TheCrumpettyTree Wed 22-Jun-16 15:41:43

Lots of taxi firms take women in labour. Just phone around and ask them. Some taxi companies provide car seats too. Not everyone drives. Don't call an ambulance unless it's an emergency, they aren't taxis.

GashleyCrumbTiny Wed 22-Jun-16 15:42:14

I'm not sure there's realistically a lot else the poor guy can do. It took me a year's worth of lessons to get through my test so this was never a guaranteed solution even if he'd pulled his finger out. Find a reliable cab company, tell the hospital you have no transport if they ask you to leave, and explain to him he's going to have to taxi a baby seat out to you so you can all come home safely by cab. Not the ideal situation but not the end of the world.

Yankeetarts Wed 22-Jun-16 15:42:21

Yes it was easy no problem at all

tornandhurt Wed 22-Jun-16 15:45:51

I had a similar situation when I had my last DS. We only had one car - H worked shifts 45 mins in one direction and hospital was 45 mins in the other. I explained to the midwife and she suggested that I should call her (actually it was a central number and team of 5 or 6) and someone would come out and assess me. If they thought I was ready to go, I could then call a cab and H could meet me there. Surely you could do something similar.

Whilst frustrating if he hasn't done anything so far, in reality there are options and I'm not sure its worth stressing over.

bluelady7 Wed 22-Jun-16 15:46:36

I sometimes wonder if people bother to actually read the OP's post before posting their comments.

SandyY had a good idea about speaking to your midwife. Maybe there are volunteer hospital drivers in your area who could take you home, your midwife may be able to point you in the right direction. Failing that, I know you don't want your mum there for the birth, but perhaps when she visits after it could coincide with taking you home?

Mishaps -- Her partner has had since January to get his ass in gear, she doesn't need to cut him any slack at all.

Thistledew Wed 22-Jun-16 15:47:21

It's not a legal requirement to use a car seat for a baby or child in a taxi. Obviously it is preferable to do so, but you could legally have the baby on your lap or in a sling (with the straps across your body, not the baby's).

RedLarvaYellowLarva Wed 22-Jun-16 15:53:20

Homebirth?

Oddsocksgalore Wed 22-Jun-16 15:58:37

Do not opt for a home birth just because you haven't arranged a lift. That's terrible advice!!

Redisthenewblack Wed 22-Jun-16 16:04:09

how did it work getting the babies home? Did you have to take a carry car seat with u and install in the taxi?

My local hospital won't allow you to take your baby home in a car unless they see them properly strapped into a car seat.

How would you be getting the baby home in your own car if not in a carry seat?

bjornbaby Wed 22-Jun-16 16:08:56

Red - I have a 0-4 car seat that isn't one you carry about. I assume the hospital would be fine with that as long as they saw it installed in my car (?)

chunkymum1 Wed 22-Jun-16 16:12:03

OP- have you considered home birth (as RedLarva suggests). I agree with OddSocks that this is not a decision to make solely because you have not arranged transport but the fact that I was stressed about how to get to the hospital in time (due to traffic congestion not lack of transport in my case) was a factor for me. If you've got a low risk pregnancy and it's something you're interested in anyway it might be worth looking in to. It made the whole thing much less stressful for me but clearly is a personal decision.

pelirocco123 Wed 22-Jun-16 16:16:18

Not much help I know , but you should have booked him the lessons !

Ive also had 2 friends drive them selves to hospital as their husbands were at work
45 mins away is quite a way , or am i just lucky living close to a hospital ?

bjornbaby Wed 22-Jun-16 16:21:51

Pelirocco - why should I have booked the lessons? He is a grown adult and perfectly capable of doing it himself

hmm

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