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Happy but scared about my new relationship

(14 Posts)
eirrah Tue 21-Jun-16 12:43:22

Met a guy 3 weeks ago this Saturday, spent all weekend together and went home Sunday night. Since then we have been inseparable. I've met his family, we have been on plenty dates, i feel like we know each other so well. Plenty mutual friends etc etc.

I'm just really scared it's all going too fast! He has told me he loves me, and I must admit I do feel really strongly about him too but it's the kinda thing where if someone told me this about themselves, I'd be a bit like wtf?! He says he feels very lucky to have me and I do him too as he is lovely to me.

He said it is fast, but it doesn't feel wrong and it was inevitable that we were going to be in a relationship so why delay it. he said if it feels right then just go ahead and do it. I see where he is coming from but I'm worried nonetheless. I don't really know why.

My previous relationship was horrible. Emotional abuse and he was still getting at me until recently. I think this has had some effect on how I am feeling now. I feel like I aren't worthy of being treat so nice and it's not right.

I just need reassuring really that every relationship is difference and goes at different paces.

Anyone ever been through anything similar and how did it work out?

thank you xxx

RebelRobin Tue 21-Jun-16 13:02:54

Aww, good luck! I'm in exactly the same situation but I'm just embracing it for what it is. We too have spent the whole weekend together, and have declared our love 5 weeks in. It seems fast - but oh so right where other relationships have not felt right at all. Just go with the flow, make sure you talk lots, that's the key. And enjoy it x

penisbeakerlaminateflooringetc Tue 21-Jun-16 13:08:35

Just go with it and enjoy it!

You can never tell if a relationship is going to last or not so no point worrying about it. Maybe he's "the one"?

My bf told me he loved me three weeks in and he still says it now 7 months later. Again, there's nothing saying it'll last forever but right now it feels good so I'm soaking the love up :-)

TheStoic Tue 21-Jun-16 13:18:41

If it feels like it's going too fast, slow it down. You have the right to set a pace that feels comfortable to you.

TheseLittleEarthquakes Tue 21-Jun-16 13:20:02

This was me and DH. We just knew. We've had nine happy years together with no arguments and no drama.

TheNaze73 Tue 21-Jun-16 13:20:06

All I would say, is read your post as if it was a friend who'd written it. What would you say to them? Every relationship is different, all I would say is, stay grounded & don't forget your friends. Good luck OP

jillyarmeen16 Tue 21-Jun-16 18:30:01

My last relationship was like this. I was the one, he'd never been able to be himself with anyone else before. Moved in after 2 months proposed after 18 months together.
It didn't work out as he is a cheating compulsive liar and a sociopath.
Yours might be different but I think if you are uncomfortable with the pace and he's pushing that's a red flag. The fact you're just out of a bad relationship is a red flag to me also, not saying he is one but men who are preditors can smell a vulnerable woman a mile away.
Sorry to put a downer on it but my experience started out like yours and I'm still traumatised by it.
Do you have kids?

Oddsocksgalore Tue 21-Jun-16 19:27:01

I had similar op and I'm on my way home to him now.

Just go with it.

We are almost two years together.

HermioneJeanGranger Tue 21-Jun-16 19:52:48

I'm in the exact same situation now.

It's going really fast but it just feels really right. I'd say go for it, but keep one foot in reality and make sure you keep in touch with your friends and don't give up anything to make him happy.

Good luck!

girlsmum1510 Wed 22-Jun-16 10:22:41

I had the same experience.

Now five years together and a home. Very happy.

Enjoy xx

CherryPicking Sun 26-Jun-16 22:31:06

I don't want to burst your bubble, but saying 'I love you' so early on can be a red flag. If he starts promising you things (expensive holidays, marriage, babies, whatever) but blowing hot and cold, you'll know he's a wrong un. However, this may just be how he genuinely feels. Did you ever do the freedom programme after your last abusive relationship? I found it brilliant for how to tell the abusers from the decent ones. Even though things are going well for you now, perhaps you could look into doing it where you live, if only to give you reassurance that this relationship really is different.

chipmonkey Sun 26-Jun-16 22:40:56

My sister was like with her dp after breaking up with her abusive ex. I was very, very worried at the time especially because my niece was so young and had already been through a lot. However they are still together 15 years later and now married and still very much in love. He has been a brilliant stepdad to her dd.
Just be vigilant and if something ever doesn't feel right, don't push it to the back of your mind or make excuses. Do be watchful for red flags. But otherwise have fun!

GinSoakedWhore Sun 26-Jun-16 22:46:15

Just me to be the voice of doom then. Oh well.

It's too soon. You don't know somebody after 3 weeks. You haven't even scratched the surface of the person. You cannot love someone that soon, despite all the happy tales of 60 year marriages based on a 5 minute meeting.

eirrah Mon 27-Jun-16 15:41:13

Thanks everyone smile

We have spent pretty much every minute together in these three weeks, only apart when we are at work! Everything feels right and he isn't hot and cold or anything like that.

I am truly hoping that this has a happy ending like many people have mentioned above, because I feel less scared now and really enjoying it. I know it sounds cheesy but i never beleived in "the one" before and i can safely say i do now! My last relationship had me feeling as though I'd never meet anyone again or anybody i clicked with and i was worried that even if i did, i'd always think and want my ex. Nope! That feeling has long gone.

thanks everyone for replying smile

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