Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

told DP he's being controlling

(9 Posts)
chickettychick Sun 19-Jun-16 20:04:29

I've had enough.
Been with DP a while, have a dc together.
Since dc has been around he's gotten really controlling.
He gets grumpy whenever I mention going out with my friends and when I actually do he won't stop calling or texting. Or hell conveniently have a panic attack or feel depressed and need me with him.
I know he checks my phone (even though he says he doesn't but I know!). I have a diary because after suffering with PND I felt like writing down my feelings helps me cope. He reads that too. I can't have anything private.

If he goes out with his mates I always agree and say it's good for him to get out. Never question when he will be back or how much he spends. He spends way too much money whenever he goes out though despite knowing we're skint as skint can be.
I told him my mum was having dc overnight so I can go out for my friends birthday (who has also just had a dc so we're excited to go out together like old times). He immediately told me I need to tell my mum to have dc so we can spend some quality time together. But we're always together! I never see my friends anymore.

Idk I feel like I'm just ranting but I'm feeling a bit crap.
He does have many many good qualities but this is just really weighing me down atm

Boogers Sun 19-Jun-16 20:10:23

What did he say when you told him how you feel?

chickettychick Sun 19-Jun-16 20:17:07

He started saying "it's always me that's the problem". He then asked if we could talk properly so we sat down and he kept rolling his eyes at everything I said so I told him to get out of the room

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted Sun 19-Jun-16 20:18:24

The good qualities are an act. Maybe he just about keeps a lid on his controlling nature to let you have a tiny glimpse of what could be if he wasn't such a controlling arse.

Checks your phone and reads your diary. These are not the actions of a healthy, normal adult. They are the actions of a weak, fearful and insecure person.

If you've had enough, and I don't blame you, then you need a plan. A secret plan so you can get away from him safely.

Whisky2014 Sun 19-Jun-16 20:19:43

First off...get a pass code on your phone.

alanthicke Sun 19-Jun-16 20:21:16

Why does your mum have to watch your DC when you go out with friends? Is there a reason your DP is unable or unwilling to watch his own child overnight?

chickettychick Sun 19-Jun-16 20:21:37

He started saying "it's always me that's the problem". He then asked if we could talk properly so we sat down and he kept rolling his eyes at everything I said so I told him to get out of the room

chickettychick Sun 19-Jun-16 20:30:51

My mums watching him because she wanted to and offered to

Dozer Sun 19-Jun-16 20:32:14

He is abusive. Control/coercion. Please seek help in RL from a womens organisation.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now