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How best to help my DS?

(3 Posts)
coco1810 Wed 15-Jun-16 21:47:15

Right, I need some help please. I know this forum probably isn't suited for this post, however I find it to be least judgy and I am sure their are probably lots of parents on here too. Hopefully someone can guide me to the best resources.

DS had a horrific time at primary school. He was bullied all the way through, in the main, it was psychological rather than physical. A lot of he was too fat, too tall, too thick, too stupid. Comments were made about me, his dad even DD when she was newborn. He was excluded from playground activities, parties and playdates. Unfortunately, this bullying was also perpetuated by a teacher (quietly retired off after I put a rocket up the school board).

He also has a mild learning disorder which makes it an effort just to sit, concentrate and process what information is being given. This also made the bullying worse as teachers would make a point of asking him in front of the class of he understood.

He's an absolutely lovely kid, he's adored by all his family. He's funny, kind and empathetic towards everyone so imagine my delight when he went off to high school and made a lovely little group of friends. He's joined lots of extra curriculum clubs and is absolutely flying academically and personally too.

The only dark cloud is he can not shake off the effects of the bullying. He is constantly worried that its all going to go tits up and he'll be picked on again. He's been inconsolable tonight over Grand Theft Auto. His friends have it, he's not allowed it, he doesn't even want it because he knows the content but is afraid if he doesn't have it he will be bullied again.

On Saturday we saw the main instigator of the bullying (he was eventually asked to leave the school) whilst shopping. Since then, he has become increasingly tearful and clingy. I have pointed out how miserable this child looked when before we had just come back from an activity with his new friends, and DS was happy and laughing. I told him this sends a powerful message out to this bully but its all on deaf ears at the moment.

His High School have in school counselling sessions available. I want him to go and speak to an impartial person to work through his emotions and process it so he can deal with it so to speak. He's agreed to see someone but not in school. I know if I go through GP we will be waiting ages to see anyone. I need to get him help but I his don't know where to turn.

I love him so very, very much. I tell him every day how much we all love him and how proud we are of him. It's breaking my heart to see him so anxious all the time. Has anyone got any suggestions?

SandyY2K Wed 15-Jun-16 23:18:55

Could you get the details of the school counsellor and let her know your DS could do with talking to someone, but doesn't want to do so in school. He/she may be able to refer you elsewhere.

Give the GP a try as well. Make the appointment without him first and see what support they can offer without too much of a wait. If you mention it's impacting his education they may be very proactive.

pallasathena Thu 16-Jun-16 10:38:09

As he's in secondary school, he's old enough to read some self help books on bullying. Have a browse on Amazon. There's some highly recommended books on the subject there.

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