I've name changed for this as I don't wish to be identified.
I think I need to leave my DH. We've been together for 10 yrs married for 6. We have DS 3 and DD 4 months. We recently moved to be closer to his family, which is 200 miles from mine, and 250 miles from the last place I worked. I gave up my job 1 year ago to be a stay at home mum as DH job requires long hours, often away from home. It was a mutual agreement but I'm dependant on him for a place to live and money grr.Â
There are so many reasons why it's over but they've recently boiled down to I feel like the family servant and that he doesn't really care about us on a deeper level than the superficial 'look at me and my perfect family set up'.
I was sick last weekend and he didn't lift a finger to care for me or the DCs just went off and pursued his hobby whilst I crawled around on all fours looking after them! When I gave birth recently he saw me up to the maternity ward and then left me there for 9 hours alone. He came home and just mooched around the house. He didn't tidy up, prepare the house in anyway for a new baby. He'd already left DS at his mum's so he just spent the day doing his own thing! I eventually had to ask him if he was going to come back.Â
But what do I do? Where do I go? I'm happy to return to work full time and had a job on roughly 40k. Do I retreat to where I'm from, where my family is but where job opportunities are limited. Do I stay where I am now, where I could hopefully find a job but where I have no support and don't really know the area? Returning to where my old job was isn't really an option.Â
How do I get a house when I don't have a job, last time I rented I needed a reference letter from my employer and bank statements. Â How do I afford wraparound care for my children and a house etc? I don't think I'll be eligible for benefits as I do have some savings squirrelled away.Â
DH works in the legal profession but has always said he will walk away from any contact with his children if we split. I know he will make it difficult to get any financial support. He says he has been keeping a document of my 'abuse' towards him in case I ever file for divorce so I'm worried about starting something very ugly.
On a superficial level I have a wonderful life but am just so unhappy and feel completely unloved. I'd rather be on my own. I just feel such a mug for getting into this dependant situation where I can be treated badly.
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I think I need to leave but how?
12 replies
ConstanceRuby · 14/06/2016 16:37
OP posts:
whenitsover ·
14/06/2016 17:19
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