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17 year old broke up with girlfriend

(7 Posts)
justkeepongoing Sun 12-Jun-16 21:42:37

It's a long time since I was 17 but I'm trying my hardest to remember what it was like to break up with your first love. My poor son is heartbroken after seeing her for 9 months. She wants to remain friends but I know that she's just trying to be kind. Luckily he finished his last AS exam on Friday, no coincidence me thinks. Any nuggets of advice for him from a mum who hates to see her boy so upset?

Marilynsbigsister Mon 13-Jun-16 07:15:58

Your poor DS . It is absolutely miserable and for you OP, also pretty hard to deal with. My DD had her first heartbreak two months ago - nearly derailed her Uni Exams. I had to keep scooping her up and bringing her home for six weeks (luckily only an hour and a half away). Dd's ex bf also wanted to stay in contact. This is the worst thing about social media. When we parents split with bf's/gf's , we split. End of. These days you can see what the object of your heartbreak is doing, going, seeing etc. It's miserable and extends the pain.

Some things I did to help were :. Let your teen just talk. Be really kind. Lots of hugs (if he likes that) . Make him feel really loved. (Favourite food, doing things he loves - his self esteem will be in his boots) let him deal with it in his own way for a few weeks. - if after a couple of weeks not feeling better then it's time to intervene . I asked ex to stop all contact. He had made the decision, he said he loved and respected her but it wasn't the right time, - so now he had to live by that. I asked him to delete her from all social media. No fb/what's app/snapchat /texting... He is a lovely boy and mature enough to understand and did exactly as I asked. This made all the difference and she bucked up sufficiently to get back on track at uni within a month.
As a mum it's so hard. We spend nearly two decades making sure they are happy and safe. T there is pretty much nothing that we can't 'fix' and make right for them, save illness and heartbreak.

Last but not least, I did take her to the doctors when things were very raw. She wasn't sleeping and that made it all the harder to cope with. Dr was fantastic. Gave her a very small amount of Diazapam for use at night and for when things got really bad. She was very sensible with them - had 5 days worth - and used them over a 14 day period but getting some sleep really helps you cope. They are anti anxiety medication and although highly addictive long term, super effective and appropriate for this type of acute upset if required.

Fishcake77 Mon 13-Jun-16 07:48:50

Ahh, I feel for him. I'm 39 now but I remember my first proper relationship breakup at 17 so clearly. What made it worse was the fact that my parents didn't take it seriously, we all know now that you move on and it's a distant memory but what I needed then was sincerity and support that it was real and painful. I can tell by your post though that you are treating it as this smile

SandyY2K Mon 13-Jun-16 07:52:59

Advice

He should keep busy
Go out with friends and socialise
Maintain no contact with her. Being friends will be difficult.

Tell him that he's so young and has the whole of his life ahead of him. There's many more girls out there. It's all part of life and love.

justkeepongoing Mon 13-Jun-16 08:02:52

Thank you lovelies for all your replies. I'll take it all on board. I'm going to ask him what he'd like to eat tonight and give him a hug as he goes out of the door. I'm also going to tell his lovely tutor to watch out for him. Yes I feel it too. I've got elderly parents and relatives with dementia at one end of the scale and heartbroken son at the other. Still another day...

TheNaze73 Mon 13-Jun-16 08:41:56

He needs to block all contact with her & get out there

LordoftheTits Mon 13-Jun-16 12:59:41

I was a bit older but I had my first heartbreak at 20. We'd been together for three years and I was devastated. I was a mess for at least a year afterwards but he moved straight on and had a new girlfriend within a month. They are still together six years later though and I'm now married (been with DH for four years) so it all worked out.

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