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This will get easier...

(5 Posts)
clashofclanswidow Sun 12-Jun-16 12:31:58

...is what I keep telling myself.

I had beautiful DD2 less than two weeks ago. Her father (same one as DD1) left me at 20 weeks pregnant and started a new relationship with someone else.

I know it is my decision and I could easily say no...but DD2 has already met new gf and is going again today. DD1 often stays over with them (was introduced too quickly IMO but it is what it is)

I know some people might be horrified that I let my brand new baby out of my sight but it's complicated.

I just want to do the right thing by the kids - this isn't their fault after all.

Their Dad has been to me to spend time with DD2, so I know he wants her again today, purely for the purpose of showing her off again to new gf.

It's a very odd thing for me and a bitter pill to swallow but I know, for my own reasons, he is never coming back so I just want to get on with it.

I just find it hard to deal with because if I say no, to half an hour, it looks like they still bother me and I don't want to give them the satisfaction.

Of course I could say I don't want her being away from her Mummy so little but it's only for half an hour and he is her Father...so I grit my teeth and do it, even though I don't like it.

Everyone tells me I'm mad and I shouldn't be letting her go but how do I get on with dealing with this otherwise?! I can't avoid them forever.

Just needed to get this off my chest. If anyone wants to give a handhold, that would be welcome today x

clashofclanswidow Sun 12-Jun-16 12:43:34

I suppose my concern is, if I'm like this over half an hour...whats it going to feel like as time goes on and he wants her for longer? =(

Merd Sun 12-Jun-16 12:53:57

Bless you, I can hand-hold until someone more knowledgable comes along. It must be heartbreaking flowers

I don't have kids yet so this is conjecture, but it sounds like she's very little to be away from Mummy at all. Hopefully your ex can understand it can't be much more than that at this stage for her sake, not yours or his.

I think you need to forget doing stuff for their reasons (and "I don't want to look bothered" = worrying about them). Stick up for her but calmly and methodically ("She's still very small and needs regular feeding from me, it's not going to stop you having a long-term relationship with her.")

Merd Sun 12-Jun-16 12:54:47

(And congratulations by the way! I know the circumstances aren't ideal of course but still smile)

Rowanhart Sun 12-Jun-16 14:44:40

First, congratulations on your lovely new girl.

Second, what Merd said.

She's simply too young to be away from you at this stage. If he wants to visit and you want to let him, that's one thing. Taking her out at 2 weeks is quite another. Just no.

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