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Match dating on husbands credit card statement, advice anyone ???

(28 Posts)
user1464814022 Wed 01-Jun-16 22:09:22

Could anybody advise if I'm correct ?
I've just seen a recent credit card statement of my husbands, we are are currently separated and I've filed for divorce on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour.....for a number of reasons but Ive just found out he had spent £700 on new clothes ( hidden under a bed ) and now seen this credit card statement, it has Match London listed and also Match Rd, there are a number of entries, when I've googled Match London and Match Rd, Match dating is the only viable explanation.....and how does this sit when you have filed for divorce, I've not mentioned this to my solicitor yet, and will this come out in the financial disclosure statement and will it make any difference anyway !! ....we have two young children. Thank you.

Northernlurker Wed 01-Jun-16 22:12:20

If you're separated surely it's up to him if he wants to date and spend money on clothes. I think you need to separate your credit card accounts urgently though.

CiaoVerona Wed 01-Jun-16 22:14:55

He's registered on the dating site!

I guess, if you're recently separated it can come as a shock to find your Ex has now moved on so swiftly. Hope you feel better.

user1464814022 Wed 01-Jun-16 22:32:04

I actually don't care that he might be on a dating site or not, they are welcome to him !!!

I just want to know if I'm correct if that's what appears on a statement if your registered for Match com....I don't know anyone that's on there who can verify that fact or not and you can't contact or email anyone at Match directly unless you join...and whether your separated or not if your still married and you sleep with someone else and get caught its adultey btw, regardless of whether your separated or not, that's fact..

We don't have a joint credit card bill either, he opened it left it by mistake when he picked the kids up.

Northernlurker Wed 01-Jun-16 22:53:05

Divorcing for adultery is very messy. Why would you want to do that when you have the grounds of his behaviour and have separated. You have no right to read his post btw. I think you need to forget about this tbh.

user1464814022 Wed 01-Jun-16 23:16:48

I think you are missing the point...completely.

fastdaytears Wed 01-Jun-16 23:20:08

We're all missing the point then!

The grounds for divorce aren't an issue. Adultery is a pain to prove and pretty unpleasant so finding a match membership won't help you for that.

Why do you want to know about this?

fastdaytears Wed 01-Jun-16 23:21:44

Oh and no it won't come out in financial disclosure- why would it?

Northernlurker Wed 01-Jun-16 23:23:33

No, you have no point. It's reasonable for a separated man to date and use dating sites. It's none of your business now and no good will come of snooping. I'm not sure why you think this is relevant. You mention your kids, best thing you can do for them is to be as amicable in the arrangements as possible, accusing him of adultery on the basis of a credit card statement you've no right to is NOT the way to go with that.

MyKingdomForBrie Wed 01-Jun-16 23:26:14

Yes it's technically adultery, pretty irrelevant when you've already filed though, in terms of the divorce. Means nothing.

BlueFolly Wed 01-Jun-16 23:26:43

Pretty sure the reasons for divorce have no bearing on the financial settlement. Quite rightly IMO.

fastdaytears Wed 01-Jun-16 23:27:43

What grounds you go for is irrelevant to everything. So no point at all in wondering whether he's been technically adulterous.

WhatsGoingOnEh Wed 01-Jun-16 23:28:55

I'm really not sure Match Rd has anything at all to do with Match.com.

Lilacpink40 Wed 01-Jun-16 23:29:37

I'm at the end of divorce based on ex's adultery. It doesn't change financial split.

FuzzyOwl Wed 01-Jun-16 23:32:47

Even if he has registered for a dating website, there is no evidence he has met anyone in person or committed adultery.

LogicalThinking Wed 01-Jun-16 23:35:42

Your solicitor won't care.
You shouldn't be looking at his credit card statement.
It's none of your business.
It has no relevance in the divorce or financial settlement.

TheNaze73 Wed 01-Jun-16 23:51:20

I'm struggling to see your point here???

So your seperated husband, has bought some new clothes & wants to move on & you're snooping at his credit card statement?

laidbackneko Thu 02-Jun-16 01:24:47

I think there's a bar/restaurant called match in London

MeMySonAndl Thu 02-Jun-16 01:33:54

She is entitled to look at her ex's account, actually he is expected to provide it as part of Form E.

But I agree that even if he was in Match, it is completely irrelevant when it comes to the separation of assets. You may not need to wait as long, but IMO it is much easier to find a reasonable unreasonable behaviour to be able to divorce quicker than trying to prove he had an affair (if he did at all, many OLD dates don't go beyond a cup of coffee).

RedMapleLeaf Thu 02-Jun-16 06:44:20

You shouldn't be looking at his post!

Cabrinha Thu 02-Jun-16 07:22:19

OP, you're not helping with the point if you won't say what it is!

Re the technical adultery if he meets someone and sleeps with them. Yes, it is. But in the modern world, most people don't care. When it's over, it's over. Your petition has gone in, there is no point in even thinking about this.

Now re looking at his statement. Meh - my XH was a lying cheat and I felt no guilt whatsoever about looking at his post whilst we still lived together post split. Helped me discover £3K that he was trying to steal from me as it happened - a statement he actually tippexed and photocopied! So yeah, you shouldn't look at his post but - I just can't get worked up at that. But I can tell you that my solicitor said it's very hard to use in court something you shouldn't have access to.

But - for disclosure you will see 12 months of statements.

Now there's no hard and fast rules when it comes to financial settlement.

On the face of it, there's nothing unreasonable about him buying new clothes and spending on entertainment.

But if you're a low income household and all the savings in the world you have are £700, then you can say that you want his post split spending taken into account.

Similarly, if you split up with zero credit card debt, and it the 6 months it takes you to make a financial split proposal he has spent £2K on Match subscription, clothes and restaurants for dates, then you are quite at liberty to say "and I will not take £1K of that debt in my half of the settlement".

Everything is negotiable - everything.

If this is your point - him spending large amounts post split - then talk to your solicitor. It may be worth a warning shot that you intend to take account balances at point of split as your numbers for the division of assets.

WellErrr Thu 02-Jun-16 07:26:11

What they all said ^

Hissy Thu 02-Jun-16 07:46:03

There are hundreds of blokes online dating that show their status as separated.

Cabrinha Thu 02-Jun-16 07:48:19

And women!
I was worried it would put people off.
I felt divorced the second I ended it.
But my XH was so fecking slow with paperwork that even though everything was agreed within a month, no arguments, we weren't actually divorced for over a year! angry

prh47bridge Thu 02-Jun-16 07:48:38

will this come out in the financial disclosure statement and will it make any difference anyway

The courts only take behaviour into account in the financial settlement if it is directly relevant, e.g. running up huge debts. The days when committing adultery meant you got a smaller slice of the pie are long gone.

It doesn't matter what he is buying with his credit card. That has no relevance to the financial settlement. All that matters is whether or not he can afford it. If he can afford it the financial settlement won't be affected. If he cannot afford to spend this much on clothes, etc. that may affect the settlement.

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