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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

I miss my boys.

9 replies

SteveBobSteve · 31/05/2016 03:40

More of a moan than a question, cause I'm reasonably certain only time will solve this.

My Wife won't let me see my two children, has completely ignored any attempt to contact her. It pains me to be away from them for this long, the youngest was only born at Christmas and I've not seen him since February, when she asked me to leave the family home.

I'm still not entirely sure what caused the breakdowm of the marriage, though I don't doubt she would tell me if she'd just pick up her phone.

I'm under no illusion tHat I was ever the perfect husband, but I did try. Either way, three months without seeing my little ones is a punishment disproportionate to whatever 'crime' I may have committed.

Certain things are already in motion, with regards to e seeing them, but unfortunately if will take time.

Guess I just wanted to get it off my chest.

OP posts:
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CommonBurdock · 31/05/2016 08:14

She can't just do what she likes. They have as much right to be with you as with her. Unless there was abuse going on.

Do the "certain things in motion" include legal action? If so try pushing things with the lawyer and if no joy get a different lawyer.

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hellsbellsmelons · 31/05/2016 09:55

I'm sorry.
I cannot stand women who use the kids as pawns in their feckin' headfuck games.
It's truly awful.
I hope you are going down the legal route and I hope you are going for 50:50 custody.
They will need some normality away from a woman that would use them like this!
My ExH is useless.
He left and went to another country.
Didn't pay me a penny for 5+ years. I was left to just get on with it.
But I never ever stopped him seeing his DD.
Even though it would have been far easier for me to do so.
Nope, I'd take her to the airport, often pay for flights to ensure she kept her relationship with him going.
THIS is what a normal nice caring mother of kids does when a relationship breaks down.
Keep chasing your lawyers and get that court date sorted out fast.
At least ensure she gets your letter of intent soon!
Might give her the kick she needs to realise she is being totally unreasonable.
Unless of course you were verbally, physically, financially or emotionally abusive towards the mother of your kids????

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MissBattleaxe · 31/05/2016 10:00

Unless you were abusive, she is completely wrong to withhold your children from you. They have a legal right that is nothing to do with her opinion of you.

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Pinkheart5915 · 31/05/2016 10:09

Sorry to hear that!
I never understand why some woman feel like they have the right to deny the children seeing the Father ( unless there was abuse) and when they use it as punishment for the relationship ending its just not how people should behave.
Children love both Mum and Dad and should be allowed contact with both (unless abuse is involved) regardless of how the parents feel about each other. IMO one parent isn't more important than the other.

I see you've already put the wheels in motion so I assume you mean solicitors/court? my DH works in law and I know how long these things can take. It will be worth the wait though as you will be granted contact with your children.

It must be very sad for you, I hope everything works out for you.

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SandyY2K · 31/05/2016 11:32

Why haven't you sought legal advice ?

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SandyY2K · 31/05/2016 11:34

This is being discussed on 'this morning' if you're in the UK .

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TheNewManAgain · 31/05/2016 13:00

Thank you all.

Sandy, I have sought legal advice, waiting on an appointment with a mediator first.

Everyone else, I've neber raised neither voice nor hand to any of my children or my wife. Of the other types of abuse, I, sure she can accuse ,e of so,mwt.hi n. Thanks,
!

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Mummytodaisyandbradley · 31/05/2016 13:56

Sorry to hear this, it makes me sad when woman behave this way. A child has a right to see both parents.

OP I hope you get the legal stuff sorted as quickly as poss and get to see your boys, must be heart breaking not seeing them

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CoolforKittyCats · 31/05/2016 14:00

I hope you get this sorted soon. No one should use their children like this.

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