Talk

Flip

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Husband thrown out how to explain to DD

2 replies

suchafuss · 30/05/2016 08:03

I posted on AIBU a few days ago about asking my h to go and stay at his brothers. He has been drinking excessivley for months, 3 bottles of wine on a Friday/Saturday, 2 on a Sunday and Thursday. He had been prescribed antidepressants but stopped taking them because he couldnt drink with them and has slowly been going downhill.
Anyway he has always been a good man but recently has started to get really angry and on Thursday evening after drinking two bottles of wine he flipped. I had asked him to look after DD 9y while I finished off some work i had promised someone I would do. Im at uni (v mature student!) And had a really busy week so was still working at 9pm. Anyway DD was playing him up and he flipped and was really aggressive saying that I put everyone else before him and DD and shouting. He had also smacked DD and she was upset and crying so I took her to bed. In the morning I sent him a text to tell him that he had a drink problem and that as DD was my priority he should go and stay at his DB. He came home while we were out and left. DD has talked to him on the phone but is getting increasingly upset that her daddy hasnt come home, she thinks he is helping her uncle with hobs around the house. I just feel numb and have no idea where we are going. Any advice on what i should tell her and what I should do? He was never like this before and has akways been supportive whereas now I think he just cant be arsed

OP posts:

Report

Squeegle · 30/05/2016 08:07

I would be as honest as you can be in an age appropriate way. My XDP left as he had been drinking a lot, was very angry etc. I said to the DCs that I had asked him to go as it was not good for us as a family if he was drinking and getting angry.
It depends on what she understands about what's been going on, but a) children understand a lot more than we think and b) there is too much secrecy about heavy drinking, it's better to be open and say it's really not acceptable in a family setting. This makes her realise it's the drinking you won't accept, not that you don't care about her father.