I don't know what I'm hoping to achieve with this post but I'm hoping to get my thoughts out there more than anything, make sense of them I guess. I probably shouldn't even post this because people will probably tell me to just leave, I don't know.
My DH and I met and got married/had DS very quickly. We've been together just over 3 years. It felt so so right at the time/beginning. It was wonderful, we had a lot of sex, we were happy. I don't regret having DS as he is the light of my life, truly wonderful, but now I do think we went way too fast. The problem is, I feel like if we hadn't gone fast we definitely wouldn't still be together now and I don't know how I feel about that or what to do.
Sex has been pretty non-existent since we had DS. I had a 2nd degree tear and some scarring that made it painful, DS doesn't sleep well and I'm exhausted. It hurt for a while, that's fixed now but I'm still tired (being treated for a vitamin d deficiency). I don't fancy him really either - he sits around topless a lot and he's no Adonis, its quite off-putting sadly :(
A few months ago I found out he'd been very flirtily texting a 'close female friend', I had a thread on here about it. I very nearly left. He got counselling to address his need for an ego-stroke/issues. It made a massive difference, he's much much nicer to be with, but I'm still not feeling it.
My sex drive is pretty much back, I'm lusting after people, just not him :( everything else is good, we are physically close and cuddly, spend time together, laugh etc. But the passion/love just isn't there. I'm fantasising and dreaming about someone else, but... Am I just missing excitement that can't exist in a long term relationship? The only every LTR I've had was mildly abusive so I don't know. I miss that passion, I'm finding myself wanting to cheat for the thrill of it, to feel alive again. This has only happened really since he semi-cheated though so that's confusing too.
I don't know what to feel or do anymore. We're talking about buying a house and I don't know what I want. I don't want to break up, but I desperately want things to be better than this... I just want something more. I've been improving my health and fitness and am feeling quite great, but he doesn't have the energy to do the same. I don't want to go off him completely :( but something is missing. I don't know what and I don't know what to do.
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Relationships
Something is missing and I just don't know what it is.
9 replies
KeepsAwayTheNargles · 28/05/2016 20:34
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