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Is he still in love with ex wife?

(13 Posts)
Bumski Sat 28-May-16 12:25:46

DP and I have been together for 3 years.

We have both been married before and both have DC.

He left his ex wife as they had a very tempestuous relationship and it was toxic to both of them, they had been together for 6 years in all.

We met a few months later, and now live together and I'm expecting.

His ex wife has had a few relationships but now seems to have someone serious.

DP has been acting strangely, really off with me and has fallen out with his ex because he's asked to meet the man who'll be spending time with his DC and she's said no....

I'm not sure if he's being off because he's stressed out with the situation or because he's dealing with her moving in and it hurts....

Lucyccfc Sat 28-May-16 12:28:15

Did his ex-wife insist on meeting you before you were going to spend time with her DC's.

Sounds like he is sulking because she is not allowing him to control her.

AgeOfEarthquakes Sat 28-May-16 12:30:04

Sounds like he wanted to vet her new man and is pissed off because he's been told to do one.

Bumski Sat 28-May-16 12:31:09

No she didn't ask to meet me.

Perhaps, but why would he be trying to control her if there are no feeling there?

Cabrinha Sat 28-May-16 12:38:49

Nobody tries to control someone else because they love them, because there are feelings.
People who try to control do it because of a (bad) need in themselves.

ImperialBlether Sat 28-May-16 12:40:00

I think if she has the children for most of the time, it's quite natural for him to be upset if she's planning to move another man in, especially if it's their old family home. It would be like you were replaced.

Cabrinha Sat 28-May-16 12:41:54

Especially given his part in contributing to a "tempestuous" and toxic relationship, you absolutely need to nip in the bud this being off with you shit, as well.

Cabrinha Sat 28-May-16 12:42:55

I'm none too happy about my XH moving a girlfriend in a couple of weeks ago. Haven't taken it out on my fiancé though.

Bumski Sat 28-May-16 12:43:10

It's more he's been quieter and slightly less talkative/affectionate than usual.

Cabrinha Sat 28-May-16 12:44:21

Have you asked him why or is it all you making assumptions about the new man?
He's moved in with and got another woman pregnant since the split - he needs to get over himself about her moving on!

happypoobum Sat 28-May-16 12:47:23

I would agree either he is controlling and is sulking because he is having to accept that he can no longer control what/who she does.

Or, your suspicion is correct and he is still in love with her.

Neither of these scenarios looks great does it? Have you tried talking to him openly about it? Sulking is sooo unattractive. If he is a poor communicator you need to get these issues ironed out, especially as you are expecting his child.

Kimononono Sat 28-May-16 12:50:50

Ask him about it.

Ask him why he is subdued and if there is an issue.

I can't see why he should be upset or feeling replaced because he already did that to her. He started a new family after he split with her so he really hasn't got a say in what she does.

LaBelleOtero Sat 28-May-16 13:56:58

He probably is dealing with some residual feelings, and the fact that that chapter is definitely closed now - though tbh, he should have felt that way once he was expecting a new child! - these things aren't logical.

What he can and should do though, is stop taking it out on you.

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