Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Breakup: Telling the kids -- any tips?

(2 Posts)
stomachinknots Thu 26-May-16 10:19:52

After 15 yrs my wife and I have decided to divorce. No massive single reason (affair, abuse, addiction etc.) but rather just a mutual acceptance that we're not happy together and are no longer able to give one another what we need. It's basically a 'grown apart' situation, although my STBXW harbours various specific grievances about the ways in which she feels I have let her down over the years. (Mostly to do with my family, who she feels never accepted her, and I admit that I could have done a better job in standing up for her.)

Anyway, we want to keep things amicable as we separate, and are preparing to tell the kids (9 & 12) this weekend. Does anyone have any tips on how to discuss it with the DCs? How much do they need to know about our reasons for separating? What are some good things to say to them when we have The Talk?

XIIILC Thu 26-May-16 10:31:38

Just be honest. It does boil down to the fact that you've grown apart. It happens. If they ask for more details then tell them. I think 9 and 12 are old enough to understand (maybe more so for the 12yr old).

My parents split when I was 7, they never told my brother sister and I the reasons, though at was obvious. They basically just told us they were no longer happy together and that my mum would be moving out. I think if I had asked more about what happened I'd have been told. But I didn't.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now