We had a love at first sight relationship and prided ourselves on the fact that from the second "we just knew". We were the same person, same type of parent, same interests, the connection was unbelievable, great sex, total and utter love, soul mates.
We did do everything pretty fast because the feelings were so intense so integrated our boys (2 each), said I love you, thought moving in together etc...
3 weeks ago he proposed. Not just a fleeting thought... he'd planned it for months, made loads of pictures and things (he's an artist) and sent it all to a woman, hired a beach hut as the beach is my favourite place to be, then planned a local restaurant to bring us breakfast and coffee after he'd done it... It was amazing! 1 week ago his first text was "you are my first and last thought and everything in between. Can't wait for our weekend to start to show you how much I love you". That's how most of our texts were and they carried on through the day. By 6pm he'd ignored me which was unusal and to cut the story short by 10.pm I was so worried I went round and he said he was having feelings for his ex girlfriend (not the boys mum) and from then he cut me off his phone, Facebook everything.
I can't tell you how devastated and shocked and hurt to my core I am. We were perfect and blissfully happy.
Apparently this ex had emailed to say she missed him, he asked advice on something to do with his son and then carried on messaging her to the point he thought she was a better bet.
He ignored me amm Thursday night and Fri but came to see me sat and said he was worried about the four boys living together and that he had feelings for her as it was easier and more relaxed. I spent the weekend distrught and crying, haven't eaten or slept. He emailed to say he would think alot.
Monday he emailed saying sorry I panicked, we have an amazing thing, could I go round Tuesday night which I did. He promised me he wasn't in touch with the ex.
Tuesday night we talked about slow g ot all diwn and just seeing each on our boy free weekends and just enjoying us rather than the steps of moving house and making our family's combine quickly. He kissed and cuddled me and told me he was scared of losing me and that he loves me. The next day we were going to get a plan together although he was still saying he wasn't sure if he wanted his ex.
Next morning he emailed yo say he hadn't been truthful and he had met up with her and been messaging her and he can't give me what I want.
I kept trying to say but look what we had, it was nothing compared to his marriage or ex as his ex wife told me (we are friends).
I kerp contacting him saying I don't get it and why wont he try as he said he's feels he may be having a mini breakdown so I'm willing to stand by him.
Yesterday he said he can't turn his emotions and he still has feelings gs for me and he hasn't gone back to and isn't with this woman.
I said so why arent we together? Why can't we start again and date, just us?
His reply was "I don't know!"
That's the last contact. But I so desperately want to email and say if you haven't gone back to your ex let's try. We are worth fighting for but I have said that numerous times already.
What do I do? I am hurting like you wouldn't believe, I thought our live together was forever and it was so out the blue I just wasn't expecting it. I miss him dreadfully... I want him back...
Is me contacting him pushing him away? Should I stop all contact and let him miss me? I'm scared if I do he'll not miss me and go to her or someone else. I hate not seeing his name on my phone or seeing him. It's killing me and I don't know how to cope. I've turned into the woman who begs and has no self respect but ant help it. He was my soul mate and I love him...
Please help and give advice on where to go from here x
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
He's shattered my world, how can I cope?
tobbay · 21/05/2016 16:09
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.