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Working with a couple - emotional/physical abuse

(18 Posts)
NapQueen Sat 21-May-16 12:33:55

I work in a small team. A couple, June and Fred, both work in it too. I am June's supervisor. My manager is Freds supervisor (Fred and June are equal roles, him FT her PT). June has twin boys. They've been together about 18m. Each still live with their respective families.

Fred is a nice guy I've known him a long time at work. However he is a liar and from what I've seen, can be quite jealous and possessive.

June and Freds relationship seems good, however his possessive nature and jealousy sometimes causes issues.

It appears now that he has hurt her. This happened on work property, which is why I'm now wondering if I should do something, however it was before either of them started work. Hurt as in she was left with blood on her arm.

She doesn't know I know. I would of course be willing and able to offer emotional support or any sort of advice I can. However I am also wary about the fact that if Fred knows I am aware or that others are aware he may well take out his anger about this on June.

What do I do?

AnyFucker Sat 21-May-16 12:36:13

As her supervisor, speak to June about it in confidence and take it from there.

tribpot Sat 21-May-16 12:46:59

So this happened before the start of a work day on work premises? I'd imagine you would have no qualms about reporting it if there were no personal relationship involved, and the same applies here.

Not acting out of fear of reprisals (albeit reprisals against June) just colludes in the abuse, unfortunately. I doubt June will thank you now but ultimately reinforcing the message that this behaviour is not okay is in her best interests.

NapQueen Sat 21-May-16 12:55:02

I agree if there were no relationship between the two then yes, I would be insisting to her that she reports it to senior management.

Hissy Sat 21-May-16 15:24:16

I think you need to speak to June and say you know what you know and that you want to report him for assault on a fellow employee.

She needs to know this is not right and that you are there for her.

ConkerTriumphant Sat 21-May-16 15:29:43

As a manager I've been in a similar position, where one of my team was verbally abusive to another, their partner.

The partner told another member of staff (they were very upset) who told me.

I took it to disciplinary level.

RunRabbitRunRabbit Sat 21-May-16 15:41:37

Fred has deliberately injured someone you manage, on work premises. You have to escalate firmly to Fred's supervisor.

June was deliberately injured by another member of staff on work premises. She appears scared of reporting this due to fear of reprisals outside of work. You are June's supervisor. You must speak to June.

Imagine that one day Fred seriously hurts or kills June, possibly at work, possibly elsewhere. The police come to talk to you and Fred's supervisor. Do future you a favour and do now what you would be comfortable telling the authorities you did if things escalate.

Hissy Sat 21-May-16 16:40:29

If he drew blood, that's gbh I think.

It's certainly gross misconduct and he can be sacked on the spot.

Do they live together?

I agree, if he has hurt her visibly at work, he is a very dangerous man and June is at great risk. There is a big chance she could become a statistic.

You have a responsibility to your employee.

Hissy Sat 21-May-16 16:43:12

Just re-read, you're a colleague, not their manager/team leader.

You must talk to your manager. If you know, others know and it could have been Anne that reported him. She has to get support to end it

Hissy Sat 21-May-16 16:43:31

Anne? Anyone! Sorry

EarthboundMisfit Sat 21-May-16 16:48:02

You need to speak to your manager.

NapQueen Sat 21-May-16 18:04:41

My manager is Freds manager so I will talk to her at the next available opportunity. Similarly June. I will sit and talk to her on Monday (we are both in alone).

June and Fred both live with their respective parents (both under 26).

NapQueen Sat 21-May-16 18:24:51

Fred has dated a colleague before June. It was an acrimonious split, and of course Freds version of events may well be utter fabrication.

This colleague (Brenda), is the employee of a very trusted fellow manager and friend of mine so I may ask if she was aware of any issues from their relationship. I trust this manager implicitly and she is my "go to" for any support.

tribpot Sat 21-May-16 18:37:55

I would be careful. If Fred (as he should be) is subject to disciplinary you will need to tread very carefully. Issues in his personal relationships are not a work matter until his actions make them a work matter. If he has previous for assaulting co-workers let this come out as part of the investigation.

Equally if you want her support for your own (very difficult) situation I think that's fine, but I wouldn't explicitly ask if this has happened before. You couldn't tell June even if your friend did tell you as this is all confidential personnel information.

Zaurak Sat 21-May-16 18:37:56

Don't involve Brenda. Not at work.

The advice above is good. You need to speak to their managers. Regardless of relationships what would you say should happen if a colleague assaulted YOU at work? They'd be disciplined and you'd be offered support. So do that.

NapQueen Sat 21-May-16 18:39:17

I certainly lyrics wouldn't involve Brenda. I meant Brenda manager who is more senior to me and someone I go to when I need advice or support.

AnyFucker Sat 21-May-16 18:57:04

You said in your op you are June's supervisor. Your first step is talking to her and warning her that you potentially will have to escalate to senior managers

Stop fannying about with other people who have no relevance to this particular situation.

NapQueen Sat 21-May-16 19:03:40

Ok. Thanks.

I've not spoken to anyone yet. I will speak to June on Monday when we are both in.

Everything else is just me pondering what to do.

This is a new scenario to me. I don't want to do the wrong thing.

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