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In laws

(4 Posts)
Mikethenight2good Wed 18-May-16 22:23:11

Hi,

Just need some perspective on this as I am possibly being irrational.

Hubby parents live the other side of the country and visit often. When they are here they are very hands on and supportive but when they go home it's like they forget us.
I have recently had DC2 and they came to visit when they were born but haven't even rang to ask how is it going of how we are.

Hubby went for a job interview today and got the job. It is what he has wanted for a long time but does mean in a change in lifestyle. I am fully supportive of this, but I will admit it has been hard dealing with him stressing about the interview, stressing about accepting the job and just being distracted with the whole thing, when I only gave birth last week. I could have really done with his parents being there to support him through this too. He just rang them to tell them he got the job and she knew he had the interview etc but was waiting for him to get in contact. I heard l the conversation and not once did he say why didn't you ring me to find out? She mentioned she was worried about him but never has she called to talk to him.

I think I am just a little upset that I my first few weeks home post DC2 arrival and I have to support hubby, , look after a newborn and settle a toddler with their new family and all I really wanted was to enjoy this time together and be looked after. I had a horrible time after DC1 was born and didn't want a repeat. But I just feel I have put teverybod else first and as a consequence I feel on my own wants and needs are not being met. I feel quite alone, and seriously pissed off at his parents . I am pissed with him for not bringing it up with them either .
I have been feeling quite low about it the past few days.

Tiggeryoubastard Wed 18-May-16 22:25:30

He's an adult. Yes asking would have been nice, and I get you've got a lot going on, but you're pinning too much on them.

Kimononono Wed 18-May-16 22:31:15

It's not his parents fault flowers

I had a shit time after dd2 and really struggled with no help of in laws and Dh twatty boss made him go back in work. It's shit. I understand how you feel.

Stop thinking about everyone else. Your Dh should have put you before stressing out about interview. He could of held it inside and helped his struggling wife. He probally didn't bring it up as it's actually quite unreasonable. It would have been nice for the help yes, but your not their responsibility. They might have gave you space as they knew how stressed your Dh was?

Do you think you might have bit of PND?

RunRabbitRunRabbit Wed 18-May-16 22:49:38

You are pissed off at the wrong people.

Your DH did not support you when you needed to be supported. Be pissed off with him.

Your anger at his parents shows what you truly feel: that his needs are more important than yours. He could only have supported you if someone supported him, i.e. his needs were higher priority. You hoped his parents would support him. They didn't so you felt had to, even though in reality it was you who most needed the support.

His parents did nothing wrong. Your DH did not support you. He put his needs ahead of yours. You put his needs ahead of yours. That's not his mum's fault.

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