If your bf previously had really attractive partners..**title edited by MNHQ**

[Getit]

Does it bother you?

[Getit]

Im curious btw as it bothers me.

[atigerinmytank]

I tease DH about his history of tall blonde ice-maidens from Scandinavia ....

And now he is married to a short dumpy half Jewish ginger goth ...whom he adores..


I do wonder why me and I put myself down a lot - cos I am a bit daft

[digitbox]

why are you asking?

they are an ex for a reason.

but to answer your question, yes in the very early days, i felt a bit insecure versus previous partner because while i know im more attractive facially, i could see for myself she had a more attractive hourglass shape even though we are roughly the same size.

10 years later - no!

[JustABigBearAlan]

Yes, it would bother me because I can be a bit insecure too. Saying that I don't even know what dh's previous girlfriends looked like! Do you know his exes or have you seen photos?

[BillBrysonsBeard]

In the first year I did but not the previous 7 It was just a case of getting more secure with the relationship. It helps that he is always telling me I'm beautiful and never compares us.

[BillBrysonsBeard]

it*

[Getit]

I did a bit of online snooping so have seen quite a few photos of them.
It's my own fault for being nosey i know but i feel like shit now.

[Getit]

All manes of hair and boobs
I have neither

[digitbox]

dont feel like shit, i questioned my dh when we met about his "type". i thought you were going to tell us his ex was rachel stevens or something!

[digitbox]

well, they obviously finds you very attractive! dont let your insecurity spoil this for you!

[VioletSunshine]

Only when xp went on about how attractive the women he used to date were, how attractive other women are, how I wasn't his usual type (blonde), or how his ex had told him I didn't look like much...

[JustABigBearAlan]

Violet

I'm glad he's your ex

[YorkieDorkie]

You put your best picture on social media! I look awesome on my FB profile and right now the crows wouldn't ask me out . Don't be fooled by the image people want you to have of them. He's with you, and not with them, for a reason.

[willconcern]

Think of it another way OP.

I am more attractive than my ex's current DP (not being boasty, honestly, I've been told this by dozens of people, and can see it for myself). I wonder what was wrong with me to make him fancy her more. I think it must be personality - which would you rather have, a great personality or a more attractive face/figure?

So there can be insecurities either way.

[Aquiver]

Agree - there is a reason that these other women are exes for a reason. Plus, remember that we all tend to put our best images on Facebook (so take any pics from online snooping with a pinch of salt!)

Don't pick away at yourself or devote any more time thinking about his exes.

Also - and I don't mean this to sound patronising - don't nitpick your OH about his exes either. I have seen that situation turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy (where a (former) friend basically henpecked her BF asking him all the time about his stunning exes and why her etc - in the end he couldn't stand the envy and left, and she's now bitter and single saying "see, I wasn't his type after all" - a real shame).

[Getit]

I dont intend to hassle bf about his exes but at some point i may cross paths with the mother of his dc.
She is everything im not even my dc say how pretty she is.

[VioletSunshine]

I'm glad he's your ex
Thanks, me too :)


OP, front-facing cameras these days have a soften mode. It makes people look ever so attractive when taking selfies, plus there's plenty of apps and programs to modify photos to hide blemishes etc. I'd take these pictures of his exes with a grain of salt.

[MagicMoonstone]

My OH is stunning. But was a bitch.

I'm short, built like a roly poly but I'm not a bitch. I'm actually quite kind.

I do get horrendously insecure though.

[MagicMoonstone]

I meant OH XW

[digitbox]

but it still didnt keep them together!

please dont feel insecure. my dh's girlfriend was blond, booby but slim and very outgoing/popular with people. that's not me at all, in fact im totally the opposite.

im sure you have lovely features too. have your dcs just seen her for the first time? how?

(getting invested in this because i know how you feel)

[mickyblueyes]

From a man's perspective...we are extremely primitive creatures who usually base everything on looks, boobs, legs etc...I admit to that my self and I have learnt that you need to look a whole lot deeper to truly fall in love, respect and be happy with someone.

My ex was i suppose 'Attractive' as you describe, trust me that when people use the old cliche 'beauty is only skin deep' it usually is. Beneath all the zhuzz there was a self obsessed, attention seeking, manipulative, cheating liar.

Your man is probably with you because maybe you respect him as he respects you, he likes being with you for who you are and he, like me has seen what it takes to be happy...and that isn't having a 'Trophy wife'

Be happy!

[unexpsoc]

Or, and think about this carefully, maybe you are really bloody attractive to him.

And that your narrow definition of attractive (which I find for some reason for everyone excludes themselves) needs to be adjusted.

There is a massive space for you to play into here where you sabotage your relationship because of your own insecurities. Perhaps ask your partner if you are attractive?

[pocketsaviour]

Well done micky, you managed to hit a whole host of outdated stereotypes in one post.

From a man's perspective...we are extremely primitive creatures who usually base everything on looks, boobs, legs etc

What a depressingly low opinion you have of your own sex.

[Getit]

My dc have been shown photos by bf dc.

[Getit]

I love my bf very much but maybe i have too many insecurities?