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Will I have fewer true friends as I get older?

(6 Posts)
Beesneeze82 Tue 17-May-16 09:03:55

Jetlagged and pregnant and feeling more introspective than usual so please be gentle.

Not in the UK so wide awake in the middle of the night pondering a minor situation yesterday which made be think I don't have the same values as someone who I thought was a good friend.

It's making me a bit sad to count only my DH my sister and two other girls as people who share my outlook on life and have similar values. Don't get me wrong I have lots of friends and in fact I am probably becoming more friendly as I become more confident as age. But is having fewer 'true' friends as we get older something other people identify with?

I think becoming a mother probably has something to do with it. And now pregnant again I'm probably thinking about such things more than I would usually.

It would be nice to hear other people's experiences.

n0ne Tue 17-May-16 09:53:47

I think quality should outweigh quantity always. Why waste your energy on dozens of friends you don't get on famously with? I think it's hard enough as an adult with kids to keep in touch with the really good friends, let alone the ones you're not quite as close to.

Beesneeze82 Tue 17-May-16 13:33:07

I completely agree n0ne. But it's not that these friends aren't good quality it's more that I'm increasing discovering people don't think like me or value what I do in life. I appreciate that everyone is different. And that's great. I wonder if as I become more clear on my values and priorities, this highlights the differences with others more?

It makes me a bit sad to realise this about my relationships. I wondered if others found the same?

AgentProvocateur Tue 17-May-16 13:36:40

I'm finding the opposite, actually. As I hurtle rapidly towards 50, I have a lot of close friends and a very wide circle of less-close friends. As I have become more tolerant as I age, I am friends with people who I probably wouldn't have given a chance to 20 years ago, when the children were small and nights out were a precious resource.

AgentProvocateur Tue 17-May-16 13:38:28

Sorry - didn't finish.

In the past my friends were like me - same values, same outlook on life, same page on parenting issues. Now I have friends who are very different, and life is better and more interesting for it.

Zaurak Tue 17-May-16 13:39:08

I agree completely

I'm an expat too and the people I thought were good friends have just not bothered to keep in touch. I'm not sure I even have what you'd call a best friend.

I think as I've got older in some ways I'm more easy going yet in others I'm the opposite. I care less what people think of me, I don't put up with shit I don't need to.

And I'm quite self sufficient- I'm definitely an introvert and don't need chatter and constant company. I think this makes me dread the thought of trying to mSke new friends.

I am lonely though. Which is the downside

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