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if you have ever told your gp/HV about domestic abuse

(12 Posts)
mylittlearmy Mon 16-May-16 21:08:13

Specifically sexual and emotional rather than physical - what happened? Did it help? What did they say/do?

I really want to talk to someone in real life now, in the next week I have a HV coming to the house, a telephone referral assessment for counselling and a gp appointment. I just don't know if it would be any good saying anything and which to try to talk to.

(Original thread here http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amii_being_unreasonable/2635288-aibu-to-think-in-a-way-it-s-easier-without-dh . )

AstrantiaMallow Mon 16-May-16 22:55:01

Yes, I did.
I had spoken to WA by the time I told my GP. I told one thing to my GP one time during an emergency visit. The time after, I brought something written down, a list of most of what had been happening over the years. I didn't feel able to talk about it.
I would tell whoever you feel more comfortable with.
If you are planning to leave or think you might, it also creates a trail, which is good.
Have you contacted WA? That would be a good idea if you haven't.

goddessofsmallthings Mon 16-May-16 23:02:34

Find your nearest Women's Aid service here www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/ and make contact tomorrow, or asap.

FV45 Mon 16-May-16 23:03:48

I showed my GP a doc I had written explaining my symptoms and brief reasons for them (EA). Much easier for him to read than me try and talk.

He has been great.

PacificDogwod Mon 16-May-16 23:07:25

I hope that I may have been of use to some of my patients who have disclosed abusive relationships to me.

If you have a good relationship with your GP, please do speak to them (or write stuff down if that's easier).
Locally here, we have all sorts of services we can refer or signpost to.

Equally, contacting WA is a very good idea, whether you end up speaking to your GP about it or not.

V best of luck to you thanks

mylittlearmy Tue 17-May-16 01:02:04

I emailed women's aid but the haven't replied yet. It's hard for me to get time away from the children/dh/work to make an actual phone call alone.

I don't know if I would leave him to be totally honest. But I think it's something I have considered now.

Pacific - I have seen my gp regularly the last few months, she keeps asking me to go back every week or two weeks about depression/anxiety. But i have never actually talked to her about anything although she does repeatedly ask blush. So it would be really easy for me to tell her just because all I would have to do is say yes when she asks!.

goddessofsmallthings Tue 17-May-16 01:39:17

The Women's Aid national email address is hugely oversubscribed. It can take some time before a response is made and, if you gave your location, you will inevitably be referred to your nearest WA service as they are best placed to help you articulate your feelings and advise you.

With all due respect, if you can find time for GP appointments, telephone assessment for counselling, and HV calling at your home, you can find the few minutes necessary to make a call to WA either in your lunch hour, when dc are at school, or h is at work, and I urge you to reach out to them asap.

AstrantiaMallow Tue 17-May-16 06:42:00

If your GP asks it's probably because she suspects something is going on, so yes definitely tell her.

It took me persistence to get through to WA.

Hope it goes well for you.

PacificDogwod Tue 17-May-16 07:47:13

Well, it sounds like you have a good relationship with her - do speak to her.
It will be the start of something bigger thanks

mylittlearmy Tue 17-May-16 09:05:48

Thanks everyone I will try to speak to either the HV or the gp.

I have been applying for new jobs and I did go on entitled to but what I would be able to get if I didn't have a job and left ( which would be what would happen if I left now) wouldn't even cover loan repayments so I'm kind of stuck until I find a job.

OnTheRise Tue 17-May-16 12:53:07

Talk to your GP. He or she can get you the counselling you need. It has really helped me.

peasareevilcreatures Tue 17-May-16 13:08:36

Yes my GP was quick to give me a referral to a local DV centre that were brilliant. Always at the end of the phone and they helped me every step of the way from when it was going on until after I left him. They even arranged for someone to come and put a chain on my door and gave me a panic alarm when I moved into my own place.

There might be something similar in your area.
Women's Aid didn't help me at all.

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