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DPs friends or My Friend? Both have been invited to a night out and they really do not get on - do we bin off one of them or just go with it and leave them to it on the night?

(5 Posts)
deVelvet Fri 13-May-16 10:23:57

There is a night out coming up. Tickets to raise funds for DSS1 & DSS2 clubs. I am on the social committee so will be involved in most of the organisation.

About 18 months ago DP & I introduced my best friend (Say L) to DPs best friend (say D) and they started dating. They dated for around 3 months but things went sour. It wasn't until L was dating D that I saw a completely different side to D which unnerved me.

I encouraged L to leave the relationship and she eventually did. After doing so, she completely cut all ties with D and also me - she blamed me at the time for introducing her to D. I couldn't have possibly known what he was like as i had never really spoken to any of his previous girlfriends. Anyway, in all fairness they were both as bad as each other. Drama central.

L didn't speak to me for over a year but during this time, DP maintained his friendship with D albeit from a distance.

L got back in touch with me after a year, apologised for cutting me off and we have pretty much resumed the friendship at the same level.

D has a new girlfriend now who is lovely, and they really seem to be in a good place.

Anyway, I have invited L to this night out but when I told DP he also mentioned that D & new GF have also been invited.

L does mention D now and again and I don't think it would be a problem for her to be in the same room, but D's new GF would have a problem I suspect, and I have no idea what D would think.

I don't want to upset either party really either by uninviting someone or by putting either party in a position that could ruin not only their own evenings but mine & DPs. Bearing in mind this is a club thing and I wouldn't want anything bad happening as a result of the people we have invited.

So my question is, do we just go ahead and leave them to it on the night? Or would you consider telling one of them not to attend? And if so, who?

Pretty trivial really, but DP & I have no idea what to do for the best.

DoreenLethal Fri 13-May-16 10:30:04

I'd tell them both that they have both been invited and hope that they can all behave like adults or decide not to come.

StuRedman Fri 13-May-16 10:31:03

I think you should let L know that D and his partner will be there and let her decide whether to come or not.

deVelvet Fri 13-May-16 11:08:58

Have spoken to L, she is fine with not attending.
But has requested that I speak with D to gauge his reaction to bumping into her now and again?

Afterall, she can't avoid my house forever

Alanna1 Fri 13-May-16 11:15:10

They are both being drama lamas! Honestly if I tried to organise social events around who had once been out with whom and it hadn't worked out it would be a challenge. A good number of my friends have at one time dated - not loads but certainly more than a dozen. And I would be miffed if I had to avoid events on the basis of a boyfriend I had well over a decade ago!

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