Friend in EA relationship

[froomeonthebroom]

I think my DF is in an EA relationship but doesn't realise/want to admit it.

DF suffers from depression and anxiety. She has been given medication but hasn't started taking it because her DH doesn't want her to. DH also suffers from depressions and I wonder if he thinks that if she gets better she somehow won't need him anymore?

DH goes out to hobbies a couple of times a week but if DF wants to go out he says he doesn't want her to and often guilt trips her into staying home. If she does come out it's only after she has put all 3 DC to bed - DH won't do it. If they argue he will give her the silent treatment.

He also has sole control of the finances and will buy new phones for them both, or spend money on gadgets but will tell her they are broke and she can't spend any money. He doesn't like her working even though he will constantly say they need more money (he has a well paid job). Their youngest DC has been going to nursery for a couple of sessions a week and he guilt trips her over that, saying it's too expensive but DF would never get a break otherwise.

I suppose what I want to know is how to help her realise all this isn't the way a normal marriage works.

Thanks for reading.