Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Post wedding blues

(13 Posts)
newstart57 Tue 10-May-16 11:02:57

Hi All,

Just joined the site. Got married weekend before last and it should be the happiest time of my life but I'm felling totally lost. Husband is great and supportive but my group of friends that I've had for over 20 years have seemed to disappear over night from the moment I came out of the church. The main ones who are single never congratulated me or acknowledged me. I think I may be pregnant and just feel a bit lost and not focused.

Has anyone else experienced this? Have any advice? Been looking for groups that I may be able to join even.....

xx

Stardust160 Tue 10-May-16 11:07:45

I've said it before a wedding day is just that a day a marriage can last a lifetime if you want it to stop focusing on the past look to the future.Why would you friends disappear after you came out of the church? Could you explain? Did they just leave? Being married is no different to when you weren't so I don't see why this would affects friendship? I didn't get round everyone on my wedding day. Your friends attended your wedding to share in a special day if they weren't interested they wouldn't of attended spent money attending outfit drink travel and no doubt a gift. If your pregnant do a test.

newstart57 Tue 10-May-16 11:15:14

Hi,

we came out of the church and within a few moments I saw a main friend that I see a few time a week. Her face looked like thunder... I went up to her she didn't say a word to me! I talked to her mum went into the drinks reception which they didn't come into. The next time I saw them was at the sit down I went over to the table between courses and they all continued with their own conversation's this is ow it continued throughout the rest of the day..... No word of congratulations, no comment on how I looked nothing!!!

I've spoken to 2 of them since, I said they didn't want to interrupt me when I had been talking to others. The other just dismissed it all.

Stardust160 Tue 10-May-16 11:20:44

Maybe there was another issue which has caused your friend to be upset with rather than you getting married

newstart57 Tue 10-May-16 11:24:00

maybe just feel like its put a downer on the day especially on the evening. They danced altogether and any time I did go over they just blanked me.

RockMeMomma Tue 10-May-16 11:30:08

That sounds strange. Are they upset about not being asked to be bridesmaid or did you unknowingly turn bridezilla. Was there a poem asking for money or anything that could have upset them?

How do you feel about the potential pregnancy, when is your period due? Have you done a test?

newstart57 Tue 10-May-16 11:44:37

One of them asked not to be bridesmaid, I had the closet 2 from the group. The pressure did get to me just before the wedding and my nana died a few weeks before so yes I did turn a bit snappy. They all gave much more than expected as gifts.

About the pregnancy feeling frighted about it all. Should have come on just before the wedding. Not done a test. Don't really want to.

Cabrinha Tue 10-May-16 13:06:15

I'm not surprised you're feeling down. I have certainly heard people say that they did, after a wedding - all that hype and attention, then... nothing. (except a marriage, which is better than a wedding if you married the right person!)

So that could be part of it.

But:
- your grandmother just died
- you're too scared to take a test
- your friend may or may not have a strop on about something

That's enough without the wedding!

First things first... 2 weeks late could be wedding stress, but you're late though to make testing sensible. Why are you scared? If you don't want to be pregnant, you can terminate. If you want to be and are just scared - lots of people on here to talk to about that. But it's always better to know what you're dealing with. Bite the bullet and test.

newstart57 Tue 10-May-16 13:23:22

Cabrinha your right!

He's defo the right person. Defo want to start a family its more a case of will I get through it? Will I be good enough? and most of all the actual labour...
smile

Cabrinha Tue 10-May-16 13:48:25

OK so if you're pregnant then it's good news!
Tell your husband tonight that you're nervous, do the test together.
If it's negative you're worrying about nothing 😉
If it's positive - your worries are shared by many and you'll get LOADS of support here - and over 8 months to use that and get through your fears.
My labour was amazing by the way - there are plenty of positive experiences!

newstart57 Tue 10-May-16 14:06:58

He knows that I nervous and has wanted to talk. I'm the one that keeps shutting it down....

Ok got loads that should have been done today and nothing... Thanks will let you know what happens. If he's not home to late will suggest we go together to buy a kit

RockMeMomma Tue 10-May-16 15:28:52

flowers Deep breath and take a step back from the situation. Take it one step at the time. Go and get the test and see if it is positive. Labor is way off, even if you are pregnant. Don't catastrophize, it will make you anxious and scared.

Call each of your friends. Arrange to meet up with each of them and speak to them individually. Find out if there is a problem, rather than fretting about the unknown. Apologies, if you offended them, for whatever reason and see if you can get things back on track. It's probably nothing. When you're feeling down, it can make you feel insecure. Everything will work out.

Cabrinha Tue 10-May-16 15:46:26

Also... you've been married for less than 2 weeks. Is it possible that some friends don't realise that you're not on honeymoon? Obviously not your closest ones.
But any friends might be giving you a bit of space, assuming you're spending all your time with your husband for a couple of weeks?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now