I just broke down in front of DD

[needhelpandadvice]

My marriage broke down last year and although I know it is not possible a huge part of me wants us to be a family again.

Our DD sees her dad every Sunday and today she came back teary, I knew she was upset. He had been being sick all the few hours she was there, sleeping and generally not doing much.

It upset her and she told me it felt like he just wanted her home, he even took her back earlier.

I text him to ask if it is sick bug as DD may end up with it now. He is ignoring me as he and I both know he has a hangover.

Im gutted that this is what we have become, I gutted that this is how he is with her and I just broke down.

She is fine now and im still bloody crying, I don't even want to think of going to work tomorrow, I feel so stuck in a rut with no way out at all.

Someone please tell me this will pass and I will stop needing him.

[cozietoesie]

How old, roughly, is DD?

[needhelpandadvice]

She is nearly 9.

[BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted]

It's OK to be angry and sad that he's let your daughter down. He's not a good father, is he, if he gets so pissed he can't entertain your child for a few hours after a night out.

I wouldn't be hankering after a relationship with someone so selfish and irresponsible but I'm not you.

[Oly5]

Your poor DD. But do let this pass, it was one occasion.
It takes a long time to get over a marriage. Sounds like you and your daughter should go out and spoil yourselves this avo

[needhelpandadvice]

It isn't the first time unfortunately, it happened a few weeks back and I ignored that.

It just broke me to hear her say the words that she felt he couldn't wait till get her home again, as I know she is right.

[Hissy]

I never understand why it's such a sin that children see us upset about things that are bloody upsetting.

To deny them this is to deny their feelings somehow. It's ok to be sad, it's ok to be disappointed and it's more than ok for a dd to see that a parent's behaviour is unacceptable to the other parent, as it validates their own feelings.

Talk it out and find out how she feels and encourage her to express herself. It makes for a healthier relationship with you. And teaches her how to manage and negotiate difficult situations.. Which WILL happen because her dad can't control his drinking enough not to screw up time with his child.

Do you think he just had a skinful, or does he have a drinking problem?

You can support her, you have not let her down, you've taught her that there are things that are unacceptable. It will help her in the long run, you'll see

(((Hug)))

[Oly5]

If it's happened before then you need to tell him she came home upset and said she felt like he wanted her to go home.
See what he says