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Upset that DH's friends' wives were bitchy to me on night out

(65 Posts)
SparklyKitten Sat 07-May-16 23:18:35

We went out last night with two of DH's friends, their wives, plus two other couples that they are friends with that DH and I hadn't met before.

His friends' wives are very good friends and see each other all the time. We see them occasionally.

I just felt that through the whole night out, the wives and the two other wives from the couples that we hadn't met before were really bitchy towards me. They all see each other regularly and have children at the same school etc, so it's understandable that they are all friendlier to each other to an extent, but all four women were just totally unreceptive to having me join them for the evening (we had a meal, the men sat together at one end of the table, the women at the other). When we first arrived they were all chatting away and although I tried to join in, I was met with one word answers from all four of them, or if I said anything they'd all just look at me. The two that I hadn't met before showed no interest at all in having even the briefest of conversation with me, despite me trying and trying.

Then one of DH's friends' wives said to me "Ooh, nice dress, Sparkly" in a really sarcastic tone and the others all laughed loudly. And it just carried on throughout the evening really; lots of in jokes between the four of them, lots of laughing at each other, lots of one word answers to me, and just ignoring me or looking at me if I tried to join in. I think they resented the fact that I was there. Oh and when we initially went to sit down at the table, they all kept moving away from the chair next to me and trying to sit at other ones, as if sitting next to me was the short straw.

I feel really upset about it all. I could never be so rude to someone to just ignore them even if I'd never met them before. I like to get to know people and to chat.

DH, of course, didn't notice any of it as he was with the blokes, and I feel like there's nothing I can specifically put my finger on and say "they did this", and nothing I could have challenged them on. I just felt really unwelcome and like I was in a playground surrounded by bitches.

sad

DoreenLethal Sat 07-May-16 23:20:15

Id tell him what you said up there and never spend time with the bitches again.

Lumpylumperson Sat 07-May-16 23:21:33

What nasty brats.

Easier said than done but just be glad that you're not a petty berk. They sound rediculous.

MrsChrisPratt Sat 07-May-16 23:21:42

What a bunch of dickheads.

You seem nice.

That is all.

ExitPursuedByABear Sat 07-May-16 23:22:01

You were. They sound horrid. I would have got drunk and been horrid back. So look on the bright side, you aren't me!

Forget them.

3littlefrogs Sat 07-May-16 23:23:36

It sounds like a nightmare.
What rude, ignorant behaviour.
Show your DH this thread and don't spend time with any of them again. You deserve better.
You sound like a nice, normal person. They sound horrible. sad
If your DH has any respect for you he won't subject you to that again.

mummydarkling Sat 07-May-16 23:24:10

How awful for you. If there is a next time develop some D+V bug ........don't waster energy thinking about them.

Getit Sat 07-May-16 23:24:17

They must have been jealous of you

Bluebird79 Sat 07-May-16 23:24:19

You are very justified to tell your DH that you wouldn't want to socialise with those bitches again. Try not to dwell on it. They sound like horrible people and not worth worrying over!

BirthdayBetty Sat 07-May-16 23:24:56

Mean girls. They sound like a bunch of infantile twats. Steer well clear.

LeonoraFlorence Sat 07-May-16 23:27:17

Sounds as if they're jealous, OP. Can't think why else people would behave like that. Tell your DH what you've said here and don't socialise with them again. Life is too short smile

Motherinlawsdung Sat 07-May-16 23:28:29

Cuntish behaviour from them . I can't stand people like this. What is the point of ganging up on someone who has done them no harm. Tell as many people as possible about what they did, and never see them again.

Temporaryanonymity Sat 07-May-16 23:29:31

I'd have got up and sat with the men anyway. Try that if you really must go out with them again, although I wouldn't bother.

Purplemonkeydishwasherpimp Sat 07-May-16 23:30:08

Next time accidently spill a drink on one of them or just be a brutal back, just insult one of them on their eyebrows, that's a major insult to most vacuous creatures like you've just described smile

Mrskeats Sat 07-May-16 23:30:54

Bloody rude cows
I would have said something but I'm a stroppy mare
Avoid in future and don't dwell on it
Some people are just nasty

MotherOfGlob Sat 07-May-16 23:36:21

Definitely jealous of you OP. Horrible idiots. They must be struggling with terribly low self esteem, at least you can go home and not have to be subjected to them again, they have to deal with themselves every day, must be shit to be them. flowers

RaeSkywalker Sat 07-May-16 23:44:46

You have my sympathies flowers I had a similar incident last year- though only with one woman- an annual formal dinner for a club DH is a member of, usually great fun. One of DH's friends came with his partner for the first time. She immediately insisted on sitting "boys together and girls together" on our table of 10. What this meant was that I was sat next to her, she was very rude early on so all the other women chatted amongst themselves, I consequently had no-one else to talk to but her.

She spent the next 2 hours asking me questions, then criticising everything about me from the way I dressed, to the food I like, to the fact that I'm married (?!). I felt like I was in high school again dealing with a bully.

After the meal finished I told DH I wanted to leave (said I was happy for him to stay but he came home with me), so we missed all the dancing and fun. I've refused to go this year (the event is in a few weeks), because the tickets are too expensive for the level of 'fun' I had last year. I'm not sensitive at all but she really got to me.

DH was of course oblivious to all the drama until one of the other women mentioned how awful she was a few weeks ago!

Don't bother with these women again OP, they sound awful.

RaeSkywalker Sat 07-May-16 23:46:09

Sorry, I've just seen how long and self-indulgent my post is! Your OP hit a nerve for me, obviously blush

Scarydinosaurs Sat 07-May-16 23:47:56

ALWAYS go and sit with the men. These women clearly didn't want you to join in their reindeer games. Let them get on with it. Petty and nasty.

RapidlyOscillating Sat 07-May-16 23:48:55

The weird segregated seating arrangement was your first clue. What a load of prannocks.

choli Sat 07-May-16 23:51:04

I wouldn't put up with that "men at one end of the table, women at the other" in the first place. It's asking for trouble, especially if you don't know the other women or men well.

Ditsy4 Sat 07-May-16 23:52:25

Horrible people. Don't go again you can find better people than that to go out with.apart from anything else they have no manners.

honeyroar Sat 07-May-16 23:53:14

Rude women. But your OH is a bit hopeless for not even noticing that you weren't having a nice time. My husband is a bit shy sometimes and can get excluded from a big group of "I am" type's conversation. If I see him being excluded I would go and rescue him, and he would for me.

Next time accept their invitation, turn up looking fabulous, swan in, then say "oh god I didn't realise we were going out with them! No, sorry darling, I love you, but I can't sit through another meal with THEM." And turn on your heals and walk out.

MadamDeathstare Sat 07-May-16 23:56:04

You have my sympathy, they sound just the worst. If you ever have to go out with them again, join in with the men's conversation and leave them to their own devices. Just because they decide that all the women have to sit together, doesn't mean you have to go along with it.

cocochanel21 Sat 07-May-16 23:57:58

They sound horrible,tell your DH and don't socialize with them again.

A couple of mths ago my sil was vile about me and my dd in my own home. She wasn't aware I had over heard. I actually carried on with the lunch somehow. My DH went nuts and we haven't spoken to her since.
They sound a bunch of bitches
Hope your okflowers

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