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In search of a poem

(24 Posts)
bb42 Fri 06-May-16 18:24:19

I'm looking for a sentimental poem for a couple on the verge of break up.

They have been together for 17 years, have two children and life has become routine. Romance and laughter have been replaced by the stress of running a family.

The wife has had an affair with someone who makes her laugh.

I'd like a poem that communicates the deep and genuine love of the husband. His regret at forgetting to make her laugh (because he was stressed with work and life), his regret that their romance slipped (because they were tired) and his desire to re-kindle their love. His belief that their love is genuine and not a fleeting romance. His willingness to forgive and build to the future. His hope that she will do the same. They love their children dearly and with that common bond can overcome the horrible situation they are in.

Does anyone know of a poem that communicates the sentiment above?

pocketsaviour Fri 06-May-16 18:27:24

I wrote this haiku just for you him.

I am a doormat.
Please do wipe your feet on me
As you leave with him.

PestilentialCat Fri 06-May-16 18:28:47

sad

wideboy26 Fri 06-May-16 19:13:48

You could consult the University of Google.

AnyFucker Fri 06-May-16 19:15:23

Are you the cuckold husband ?

kathymyskies Fri 06-May-16 20:11:45

Write a letter, from the heart, instead.

Startingover2016 Fri 06-May-16 20:21:33

Reminds me of that Bruno Mars song, When I was Your Man

Kirsty67 Fri 06-May-16 20:25:47

If you cant find the words download her a sing (or you listen to find a bit of inspiration)
James Ingram - Find 100 Ways
Luther Vandross - Buy me a rose...are a couple of examples.

Kirsty67 Fri 06-May-16 20:26:06

Song btw...

goddessofsmallthings Fri 06-May-16 23:40:56

Try this:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLwhDb7J7TY

ElllieB1 Sat 07-May-16 01:07:05

Surely something written by him & heartfelt is better?

MuttonCadet Sat 07-May-16 01:27:06

A letter from the heart would be better, or even a conversation.

It's a strong person who can forgive an affair, even stronger to walk away.

Do not stay for the kids.

bb42 Sat 07-May-16 11:03:46

Thank you for the comments.

There are a lot of conversations going on, including sessions with Relate.

I will not stay in the marriage for the kids, however I will try to save the marriage for them. If it wasn't for the kids, it would be easy to walk away. However they are completely innocent and have done nothing wrong. I won't live a lie. I won't stay unless my wife and I can genuinely re-build our relationship. That's what I am attempting to do.

There is a lot of advice at times like this. People talk about "doing a 180" or "keeping the pressure up". People talk about never trusting a cheating spouse again. I suspect that every situation is different. In our case, there have been many weeks of discussions, arguments and counselling. I think my wife now sees that there is no future for her with the other guy, however she still needs to know that there is a future in the marriage should she decide to return.

hesterton Sat 07-May-16 11:05:49

It's a very hard time. Make sure you don't leave your needs at the door, and I hope you get the outcome you seek.

APlaceOnTheCouch Sat 07-May-16 11:14:03

If you want something that communicates your 'genuine' love then you have to write it yourself.

If your priority is your children emerging from this unscathed then you have to consider the message you are sending by taking back someone who has cheated. It's also a huge burden when children feel they are in some way responsible for parents staying in an unhappy relationship.

I hope you are having individual sessions with Relate too.
You don't only need support as a couple.

Fairenuff Sat 07-May-16 11:22:24

If it wasn't for the kids, it would be easy to walk away.

I think this is your answer. You obviously can't trust her as she's shattered that, you will have lost respect for her. You are asking her to buy into an idea that you have a 'deep and genuine love' for her but, at the moment you don't and she knows this.

It sounds like you are trying to force feelings that just aren't there. Has she actually left already?

merville Sun 08-May-16 23:12:32

I read this title quickly as "In search of Porn" grin.

Hmm - afraid I'm having all the same reactions I have for women in his position; there are any no. of things someone can do to address lack of laughter and romance that don't involve breaking our marriage vows, betraying your spouse/family, getting intimate with someone other than your partner.
I'm inclined to think ppl do what they want to do and then use excuses.
And now the partner who didn't do that has to swallow it because of your children together.

Sorry this is not v helpful on the reconciliation front; there are a lot of websites dedicated to reconciliation after affairs, have you had a look on them for support?

DontMindMe1 Mon 09-May-16 00:01:22

"Woman, I bid thee, hither not forth
I've assembled all your belongings upon the front porch"

or

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
and by that I mean
you've damaged me in ways
I won't know about for years to come"

or

"The Reason We Argue

I could go around telling people I’m over you,
Pretending that what I felt was through.
Never knowing if we’d have a chance to get back together,
Just trying to forget what we had with one another.
I’m tired of hearing and telling these lies,
Because every time I try part of my heart dies.
I just need to tell you,
Dang it woman, I still love you…."

EverySongbirdSays Mon 09-May-16 00:50:30

FWIW I don't think your the one who should be apologising here OP, but this fits the situation as out lined by your OP

İ'm Sorry, I Didn't Notice - Poem by Dylan Burkhart

I'm sorry, I didn't notice
When this started to happen
I'm sorry, I didn't notice
I just let it begin

I'm sorry, I didn't notice
The change in anythin'
I'm sorry, I didn't notice
When we stopped talkin'

I'm sorry, I didn't notice
We weren't letting each other in
I'm sorry, I didn't notice
That sad, sad trend

I'm sorry, I didn't notice
The beginning of the end
I'm sorry, I didn't notice
You were no longer my friend

But believe me, now I notice
And it hurts deep within
Now that I notice
I hope you'll be again

DontMindMe1 Mon 09-May-16 00:55:52

love that one every smile

Fairenuff Mon 09-May-16 08:17:27

Of course, there's always Elvis, uh hu

Maybe I didn't treat you
Quite as good as I should have
Maybe I didn't love you
Quite as often as I could have
Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time

You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

Tell me, tell me that your sweet love hasn't died
Give me, give me one more chance
To keep you satisfied, satisfied

Maybe I didn't hold you
All those lonely, lonely times
And I guess I never told you
I'm so happy that you're mine
If I make you feel second best
Girl, I'm sorry I was blind

You are always on my mind
You are always on my mind

pocketsaviour Mon 09-May-16 11:43:23

she still needs to know that there is a future in the marriage should she decide to return.

So she has left? Mate, you're doing the Pick Me Dance, and very undignified it is too. You and your DC deserve better than you prostating yourself on the floor.

merville Mon 09-May-16 22:30:21

Dontmindme - your 1st and 2nd poems grin
pocketsaviour - brutal first post, however agree with what you are saying in principle.
If only OP (presuming he has never cheated) would sack her and meet one of the lovely women on here who've been cheated on, break the cycle of 'naive', nice ppl pairing up with & being shat on by B's.

HeddaGarbled Mon 09-May-16 23:49:00

Some posters above are being gleefully and nastily unkind and unhelpful.

There is a book called Not Just Friends by Shirley Glass which has some really useful advice for both you and your wife about the steps she needs to take to give your marriage a chance of recovering from her betrayal.

Don't bother with the poem, doing 180 and all that.

I've seen a really good link on here before about the necessary steps the cheating partner needs to take to ensure a marriage can recover from infidelity. Can anyone remember where it is?

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