I have a 4 week old daughter (my second, his first) and just discovered my partner has been on Adultwork and placed several reverse bookings (where you state a time, date and what you want, and the escorts contact you with offers), emailed a couple of escorts and has been looking at local sex parties.
I am utterly distraught.
The past month, he has become more obviously depressed and down, withdrawing his physical affection and not wanting sex. Throughout pregnancy, my sex drive went crazy, so it’s not like he wasn’t offered any. He said he had loved me, still found me attractive, but had no libido, which made me feel even more inadequate and worried. He has been under a huge amount of stress lately (lot of stress at work, he moved into mine unaided and his mother died 6 weeks ago), so I have tried to be as supportive as I could be and not pester him for sex or anything like that.
A couple of weeks ago (not long post birth) I found he’d been looking at loads of porn. Obviously, being at my most vulnerable and shittiest, this hurt, especially with his physical rejection of me. I could see that he was just flicking through the images, so (stupidly) was reassured by his excuses that he was just looking at all these to try and get some of his libido back, he felt like it was something else he failing me at, etc. Apparently he couldn’t even get excited enough then. Anyway, he promised not to do it again, and hasn’t. (I have had a good snoop on the computer, so know this is true.)
And then I discover this. I am repulsed at the complete cunty fuckbadger.
He was on the site, arranging a meeting a week after our first scan. And again a week before our daughter was born.
He has denied actually following through with these meetings and I believe him (not least because he couldn’t perform and there is no feedback on Adultwork or confirmation of anything), not that it matters really.
He has emailed and texted me (which I’ve not replied to), admitting he has fucked up massively, declares his love and states he would never actually cheat on me. I saw in his eyes how much he loved me, so cannot comprehend how he could hurt me so much and throw it all away for something like that.
I kicked him out as soon as I found out, and for the kids, am managing to maintain my “keeping-my-shit-together” mode, but dying inside.
I am utterly broken. Tell me I’ll be OK.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
New Baby and Discovered Partner on Escort Site.
ConcreteUnderpants · 05/05/2016 16:13
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