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Relationships

Internet dating and feeling a little worried please help?

34 replies

gemsangels123 · 04/05/2016 20:30

I have posted recently about Internet dating. I have nobody else to chat to...so would appreciate a little advice as I'm a little concerned. I'm trying to be cool and not chat too much. Go with the flow. Arranged 3 dates...asked for advice on here. Chatted on WhatsApp to a couple. One in particular because he texts alot and I feel I have to respond. Now he is getting mad at me because I'm not responding immediately but I'm in work then home and don't stop until 9pm. Now he's texting asking me if I'm arranging other dates. He is getting angry. I'm just worried because I have said where I work etc. I feel silly mailing this but I'm a bit worried as he is getting angry. I agreed to a coffee date next week I just havnt got time to message all day. Also I am chatting to others as that's the whole point isn't it?

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QuiteLikely5 · 04/05/2016 20:34

Text this guy and state firmly that you do not wish to receive any further contact from him at all advise him if he ignores your request then you will have no option but to report to the police for harassment!

Drastic I know but it might work!

In future do not give out details of work/home locations, best to be safe Smile

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RedMapleLeaf · 04/05/2016 20:34
  1. Block him.

  2. Reconsider whether you should be dating.
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TeaStory · 04/05/2016 20:35

Big red flags! Please don't meet him, he sounds like a nightmare control freak.

Can you warn your workplace about this guy if you feel threatened by him?

He has no reason to be getting angry, you've done nothing wrong.

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gemsangels123 · 04/05/2016 20:36

Thankyou ☺
I feel really vulnerable this evening now. Naturally you chat about work etc but now I'm so worried it's a horrible feeling. Thankyou again. I will say that if he texts again. I haven't even done anything wrong.

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gemsangels123 · 04/05/2016 20:38

Thankyou ☺
I will tell the people I work with. Probably nothing to worry about I just worry.

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gemsangels123 · 04/05/2016 20:38

I will block him but why should I not date?

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AnyFucker · 04/05/2016 20:38

Dear God. Someone so people-pleasing should not be Internet dating

Why haven't you told him to fuck right off ? He's trying to control you and you haven't even met him

Send him one message saying you never want contact with him again and then block him

And in future don't give RL details out until you are sure of someone

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ChicRock · 04/05/2016 20:39

I agree you should reconsider whether you should be dating. Because you seem to have a problem saying 'no'.

Why on earth have you agreed to a coffee date with him?

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Hissy · 04/05/2016 20:41

Honey, if gets even slightly snippy, he has no right!

Just block him. Now. Both on whatsapp and main phone

He's a weirdo. There is a good reason why he's single.

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gemsangels123 · 04/05/2016 20:42

Ok wait.... please calm down.
I agreed because he seemed normal. I kept the texts brief because apparently that's the best way. I agreed to coffee in a public place because apparently this is the best way. New to dating, yes! I can say no. This has happened within an hour. Lovely to crazy. Hence my post on here.

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gemsangels123 · 04/05/2016 20:43

Thankyou hissy. I will ☺

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AnyFucker · 04/05/2016 20:44

So, have you told him coffee is off yet ?

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gemsangels123 · 04/05/2016 20:46

Of course! I was posting as I don't have anyone to chat to and this site has been great. Just feeling a little worried.

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AnyFucker · 04/05/2016 20:49

OK.

Lovey, maybe you should join the dating thread to get some tips on how to do this thing safely and without compromising yourself.

This went too far. The very first time he was remotely arsey about an unanswered message it should have been " so long, sucker ..."

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RedMapleLeaf · 04/05/2016 20:50

Naturally you chat about work

You don't give away personal details, you say, "good day at work and ready for the weekend".

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gemsangels123 · 04/05/2016 20:54

Yes, I will.
I have nothing to worry about now have I? He will hopefully just calm down. I won't chat about work etc anymore. I actually feel sick.

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cozietoesie · 04/05/2016 20:58

Don't feel sick. You'll manage to nip this one early so if you're firm enough, he should just move on somewhere.

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Hissy · 04/05/2016 20:58

Oh Christ no AF, not the dating thread! That's a bubbling cauldron of self doubt and paranoia!
The last place I'd recommend for safe dating advice tbh.

Common sense and Relationships is definitely the way to go!

gems you wanna sounding board? You can pm me if you like?

The faster they heat up, the faster they turn. Don't ever tolerate anything less than nice, happy, respectful normality. That means not machine gun texting, not demanding answers, not constantly monopolising your time, understanding you have a life and need to do other things sometimes.

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AnyFucker · 04/05/2016 20:59

We don't know for sure if you have nothing to worry about, love.

It's more likely than not though that this particular inadequate will slink off back where he came from when he realises you have given him the bum's rush

Lesson learned

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AnyFucker · 04/05/2016 21:02

Hissy, are there not at least some basic safety tips on there ? Shock

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Startingover2016 · 04/05/2016 21:04

I don't even give my number pre-date any more as so many guys get all over enthusiastic texting or what's apping day and night. It's ridiculous. When I get a good morning, how's you or sweet dreams text my heart sinks. They don't even know you!

I say upfront now, I don't have time to text all night long. Let's swap numbers after we have met.

This one, just bin him off op. Some of them do get possessive.

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cozietoesie · 04/05/2016 21:05

I'm not sure that the Rules that are in the OP there would constitute 'safety tips', AF. Maybe they have them in the body of the thread.

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AnyFucker · 04/05/2016 21:06

Somebody needs to do it then Smile

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gemsangels123 · 04/05/2016 21:08

Thankyou all Smile

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Shameandregret · 04/05/2016 21:15

People on the dating thread are just that: 'people'.

Basic safety is pretty much common sense and on the thread they will tell you everything said here. 'Self doubt and paranoia' is a shitty, bitchy way to describe it hissy. I've been here since 2007 (namechange regular due to job) and know you are forthright and honest and supportive but mocking and stereotyping is pretty crap behaviour.

I was OL dating because my ex h beat the shit out of me, I have 3dcs, 2 jobs and I'm doing a masters. I'm not full of self doubt and paranoia. I'm just busy. Please don't sneer.

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