So my ex husband and I are going through court procedures at the moment to ascertain which of us does the driving of our 2 daughters (13 and 10 years) for contact swap overs. He moved away as soon as he left 5 years ago and lives with his new wife about 3 hours drive away. the girls and I still live in the same house (I bought him out). I do everything for the girls during the week - homework, dinners, general welfare stuff and have a full time job. I don't get any help from anyone els , apart from my parents occasionally. He wants me to share a large part of the driving. We had mediation last week - something I pushed for as he told the court when he made his application that I would not be interested in mediation and it would not work anyway. I was pleased that we were able to mediate in the end as I wanted to talk things through with him and make him realise I just can't do any more than I am already doing. I thought the mediator would be there to "protect" me from his temper and shouting and false accusations (one of which is that I "steal" from him because he has to pay me maintenance). However I was subjected to a barrage of aggressive shouting eg. that I am stupid, i have done this, and I have done that, he hates sitting there in a room with me, the girls find my parents boring to spend time with, etc etc. The mediator did not pull him up on any of this even though it must have been obvious that he just wants to control my life and make my life as difficult as possible, she said nothing trying to encourage me to go along with his demands "so that we can move forward" - another demand is that the girls are in the house at certain times every week so he can phone them. If I did not agree to go along with all this the girls would be dragged into it and made to go to a wishes and feelings meeting. So I went along and agreed to everything. My ex has manipulated the girls and repeatedly twisted the truth. He's told them already all the details of this case and that it is "unfair" for him to do all the driving and also not be able to talk with them whenever he wants - even when their dinner is on the table. He also tells them and the court that I am bitter because he had an affair and left me. I am not bitter, and have moved on in my own life. This is so difficult for me because, as I said in mediation, I literally can't do any more than I am doing already. I don't want my life controlled by him. We will now have to stay in 2 nights a week so he can call them, and have his hour conversation with them both, and I have a long drive long a distance on a Friday straight after work and Sunday. I am exhausted from what I already have to do. He on the other hand has loads of free time to do whatever he wants, he also has a much better car than me - safer and easier to drive. This has not yet been made into a court order and I am considering withdrawing what I agreed to in the mediation. Has anyone got any advice as I am so stressed by this situation. Thanks.
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dailymailphequers ·
02/05/2016 10:42
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