Title says it all.
I love my DH. He's not the best communicator but we've been together for almost 20 years, married for 16. We have two lovely children. I don't want to leave him just because of sex and I don't want to cheat. But I'm reaching the end of my tether.
I have always had the higher sex drive, but after our first child was conceived, he seemed to feel his job was done and we didn't have sex for YEARS. Then I persuaded him to have a second child and so obviously he had to do the deed. It took about 6 months.
The night we conceived that baby was the last time I had sex and he is now 5 years old.
DH is 11 years older than me, and not very healthy. He's overweight (obese) and takes a lot of medication which also affects sex drive. I've tried to make allowances for this, but how far do I have to go? I'm only 41 and can't bear the thought of never having sex with anyone again. I feel like cheating is the only way to save our marriage. I feel bad for thinking about it, but sex is constantly on my mind. I'm like a teenage boy!
He won't talk about it by the way. He listens if I insist, but then gets up and goes away and never mentions it again. He really doesn't seem to care that I am miserable. He recently had a bad health scare and so I feel even worse about trying to push him to talk about things. But something HAS to change. I don't know what the right thing to do is.
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Haven't had sex in 6 years. Losing my mind.
readytoleave · 29/04/2016 17:31
I understand that ready. I posted a brief summary up thread. I went through agony and insecurity feeling that it was me. He didn't fancy me etc etc. I lost weight, when I was never overweight to begin with. Began drinking heavily. People would say, 'you initiate it things' or 'put your hands on his penis'. I was rejected every time. It took a long time to come to terms with it. The hardest part was his refusal to discuss it. I have told him that no one else would have stuck around or put up with it. I think he is genuinely asexual. He just has no interest whatsoever.
You have to do what is right for you. Best of luck. 
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