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STUCK ?

4 replies

PaddywackHolland · 28/04/2016 14:21

I began divorce proceedings against my husband in February, because of his EA, and was looking forward to the DN coming along soon. However, my solicitor emailed the other day and told me this:

" We are able now to apply for a date for Decree Nisi, however, I would simply add a note of caution at this stage. I am experiencing some difficulties with the Legal Advisors who have taken over the role of determining the applications for Decree Nisi. It was previously conducted by District Judge’s and over the past 27 years I can safely say I have not experienced the level of difficulties that I have over the past 6 months.
Unfortunately, I can well envisage some difficulty with the Legal Advisors who have taken over this role as their preference may well be to reject all applications for Decree Nisi whilstever you remain living at the same address."

Has anyone else come across this problem? All the advice I've seen says to stay put until the financials are sorted, don't move out because it can put you at a disadvantage, etc. I have asked my solicitor for his advice, but he takes ages to reply.
I'm 99% sure I can't get the fucker to move out, because he has dogs that need kennels. He earns a lot more than I do, so would be able to pay rent, whereas I would really struggle. I could pay the mortgage easily enough. We have 3 grown-up children, two of which I take to work in the morning because we have a very sparse bus service, and the other one goes on a bus to school. Anyway he doesn't speak to two of the children!! I work close to home and he travels around a lot. He only needs a place for one. WWYD?

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shoeaddict83 · 28/04/2016 14:30

I got with my DP a few years ago, he had split from his ex but remained living in the house until she bought him out so he then had the equity to put down as deposit on new property.
We got together and they then decided to sort their divorce using the simple 2 year separation option as it had been longer than that, however as they remained under the same roof for 4 months after the 'date of separation' DP had to attach a letter to his application explaining why that was the case. He also had to 'prove' that although they were under the same roof they were living as separate households. So he had to state that they shared no meals, no social time, attended no social events together as a couple, that they did all food shopping, washing, cleaning etc individually and that they took it in turns to care for the children and at alternate weekends one of them stayed with friends/parents whilst the other had their weekend with the kids.
The judge accepted this no problem but he was advised that if they had shared ANYTHING together (cooked or ate meals together etc) a difficult judge could declare they were not 'separated' at that time so would not allow it to go ahead. its ridiculous, a solicitor and the local divorce unit he used said they know its antiquated as even roommates who arent in a relationship share meals together so it does not mean you were in a relationship, but its still written in the terms as what constitutes separate households for divorce so you need to be really careful. So unfortunately your solic may be correct that it could upset the DN being approved. its a shit situation i know, really hope they can get it pushed through for you.

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shoeaddict83 · 28/04/2016 14:32

Just realised how that first sentence sounds - to clarify he was long out of the house and relationship and in his own new house before i came along!! They just hadnt actually bothered sorting the divorce yet, it was when we'd been together a while they decided to actually get the divorce proceedings going!

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ElllieB1 · 29/04/2016 16:07

Just sent off for my absolute today!2 years separated spent the whole 2 years loving together but separately. I had only been out of the house a month when I applied, I did it myself and stated we had loved together whilst waiting for house to sell, we didn't share any accounts, meals or do anything as a couple. Separate rooms, separate lives. I got my decree in March, no issues.