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Desperately want a child with new partner

(77 Posts)
NAR4 Thu 28-Apr-16 14:04:07

Quick background; I have 5 children with my ex and my partner has 2 children with his ex. My youngest 3 still live at home and exs children stay 2days and nights each wk, occasionally more.

I would dearly love just 1 child with my ex. He is such a fabulous caring dad and I really feel it will complete us as a family. He thinks the idea is barking mad and we have plenty of children already. Has anyone else been in this situation and managed to persuade the other half. I know it sounds ridiculous but I feel so terribly sad that we will never share the joy of pregnancy and baby/toddler times, together.

KinkyAfro Thu 28-Apr-16 14:05:52

7 kids is quite a lot. How long have you been together

expatinscotland Thu 28-Apr-16 14:07:00

Yeah, it sounds ridiculous. You don't need to procreate with every partner to have a meaningful relationship with him/her. I hope he's using protection or gets the snip if he doesn't want any more children.

You have SEVEN children between you. There's something seriously wrong if you feel even that doesn't 'complete you as a family'.

PresidentCJCregg Thu 28-Apr-16 14:08:19

What Expat said.

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted Thu 28-Apr-16 14:11:49

Relationships can be cemented in many different ways, and if you think having a child together is the only way, you are wrong.

How new is this "new partner" anyway?

AnyFucker Thu 28-Apr-16 14:12:50

Yes, it sounds barking mad

Vixxfacee Thu 28-Apr-16 14:13:04

Why don't you get married to cement your relationship?

cantthinkofanythingwitty Thu 28-Apr-16 14:13:30

You want a child with your ex... You already have 5 with them

bewilderedfish Thu 28-Apr-16 14:16:54

Yes, you have said you want a child with your ex????? Is that your subconscious telling you something? hmm

BastardGoDarkly Thu 28-Apr-16 14:17:34

He doesn't want anymore, and I don't blame him.

BitOutOfPractice Thu 28-Apr-16 14:20:17

How long have you been with your dp?

NAR4 Thu 28-Apr-16 14:24:47

I want a child with my new partner, not my ex.

I only have 2 young children living at home and a 16 yr old. My oldest 2 have now moved out (are older).

I say new partner purely because it is the man I have been with since my ex husband. We are not in a new relationship.

MailonlineEffOff Thu 28-Apr-16 14:25:09

shock blimey

expatinscotland Thu 28-Apr-16 15:06:56

But he has his 2 there 2 nights a week and sometimes more. That's 5 kids at least twice a week.

StillDrSethHazlittMD Thu 28-Apr-16 15:07:22

No one needs that many children. Nor does the earth.

Aside from that anyone who needs to cement their partnership through procreation suggests that have insecurity issues that have nothing to do with having yet another baby. How many times do we hear on MN about people in dodgy relationships decide to have a baby because "we thought it would bring us together".

Get a dog if you really feel you need something else to care for.

FFS.

expatinscotland Thu 28-Apr-16 15:08:51

YY, get a dog and get married. You've already got a big family, with 7 kids, and he doesn't want any more.

LitteRedSparkle Thu 28-Apr-16 15:10:05

i'm in the 'you have enough children' camp too

Are you married?

Gazelda Thu 28-Apr-16 15:10:22

Listen to what he's saying. Enjoy the family you have.

FishOn Thu 28-Apr-16 15:11:25

...what if you had twins? shock

MarthaCliffYouCunt Thu 28-Apr-16 15:14:00

What ^^they all said. 7 is plenty.

Get a joint hobby you can bond over. Children are actual real people. Not a novelty you can use to show facebook how together you are hmm

WannaBe Thu 28-Apr-16 15:14:09

Anyone (male or female) who willingly enters into a relationship with someone who has five kids is either mad or a saint. The definition is dependent on whether or not they choose to bring more children into the equation. ;)

DownstairsMixUp Thu 28-Apr-16 15:16:26

That's a lot of kids. How long have you been together? I keep seeing people who have only been together several months, falling in love and trying for a baby in all the "excitement" of a new relationship. It's a bit silly.

TheCrumpettyTree Thu 28-Apr-16 15:20:52

And what happens when the new baby and toddler stage are over and you want another? Where does it end?

StillDrSethHazlittMD Thu 28-Apr-16 15:20:52

Downstairs You're right. I have a friend who met a guy 18 months ago. He moved in with her after six months (at which point she was four months' pregnant and it was "all planned" apparently, ridiculously loved up). They've already split up.

WellErrr Thu 28-Apr-16 15:29:28

Yes, it's mad.

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